Zelda: Truth or Dare
by Twitchy the Pyro
Summary: Zelda characters are mentally and somewhat physically tortured by the insane author and his co-writer. Read and review to discover the next chapter. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Pyromaniacal emo AKA PE: Alright guys, ready for this

**Pyromaniacal emo AKA PE: Alright guys, ready for this?**

**Link: … I don't like the title…**

**PE: Waddya mean Link? You like doing stupid stuff…**

**Link: Name one!**

**PE: -leers- you jumped off high ground and almost broke your ankle for most of the games you've been in.**

**Link: … I hate you….**

**PE: Alright audience, this is where you come in: You get to make Link and his friends do stupid things by daring them. Remember, any and all dares accepted as long as they're T-rated or lower. M-rated dares will be ignored.**

* * *

**Here's a lil walkthrough on how to dare:**

_1) Hit the review button._

_2) Type in the names of the characters you want to dare and give them their dare._

_ex._

_Link: -enter dare-_

_Zelda: -enter dare- etc._

_3) you're done, and then you have to wait and see what I do with your dare-assigned characters to make them just as crazy and maniacal as I. And if I'm lucky, they'll be depressed._

* * *

**Ganondorf: Should I kill you for this?**

**PE: Kill me and you'll end up jobless for the next year… maybe two years if I'm lucky.**

**Ruto: Do I get to marry Link?**

**PE: ... anyways guys, just send dares.**

**Ruto: See you guys later!-waves-**

**PE: -tackles Ruto- Don't scare them away, God!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Emo: Alright guys, let's see who's first.**

* * *

_Link: go on a date with a Ganondorf while wearing a pink dress._

_Rune Caster_

* * *

**Link & Ganon: Ah Hell no!**

**Emo: Link... do it or else.**

**Link: Or else what?**

**Emo: I know someone else who could do worse. -evil grin-**

**Ganon: Who?**

**Emo: Go to the website and look up my co-writer's dare-thing.**

**Ganon: -On computer- There's two...**

**Emo: Read both.**

**Ganon: -minutes pass, eyes widen- Link, do what he says... -quivers-**

**Link: ... what color's the dress again?**

**Emo: Pink.**

**Risu: -pops out of nowhere and screams- PINK! DIE PINK! -brings out gun and shoots at Link- -disappears-**

**Link: -hides behind Emo- uh... I'll be right back. -runs in changing room-**

**Emo: He'll take forever... Zelda, help him put the dress on.**

**Zelda:... what?**

**Emo: Zelda... do I have to burn you like I did to Ruto?**

**Zelda: ...You burned Ruto?**

**Emo: Who wouldn't want to?**

**Zelda: I guess I'll help him -walks towards changing room, swearing violently under her breath-**

**Link: Ah! What the...!**

**Zelda: Hold still, it's on wrong!**

**Link: Ah! Emo-boy, she's raping me!**

**Emo: Whatever... -reads TC magazine-**

**Zelda: Done!**

**Link came out wearing a pink dress that sparkled. Emo stiffled a laugh as Ganon came up wearing a tuxedo, his hair actually combed. Emo grabs a camera.**

**Emo: Now I'm not a fan of yaoi, but this is good!**

**Link: Just take the picture...**

**Emo: -takes several pictures- Alright you can go. Have fun you two!**

**Ganon: (bleep) you man.**

**Emo: Whatever... next dare!**

* * *

_Wow, a truth-or-dare fic fresh out of the oven._

_Link: (T)What's your favorite piece of equipment ever?  
(D)I dare you to lock yourself in the closet for 1 hour with those three  
fangirls in front of Purlo's tent, Malo, Talo, Beth, the Postman, AND the  
Killer Bees from Windfall Island._

_Marin: (T) What's it like for you in the outside world?  
(D) I dare you to grab a little bunny and drop him in a lake from 50 feet  
up._

_Zelda: (D) I dare you to make out with Ganondorf and Zant at the same time._

_Ruto and Navi: (D) I dare you to stand in front of a wall while everyone  
takes turns beating you up and throwing stuff at you while I chop Jabu-Jabu  
into sushi and the new Deku Tree into firewood._

_evil laugh_

_keybladeboy_

** Emo: Huh? Wow, okay... Link! -dashes out door, sees carriage- What. The. (bleep) **

**Link: What do you want, you wanna torture me more?**

**Emo: -yanks Link out of carriage- Exactly...**

**Link: -pulls back- I don't wanna!**

**Emo: -pulls harder- come on Cinderella, you're going inside... there's someone you... should... meet? -picks up package at door, reads label and grins evilly-**

**Ganon: Hurry up! The stalhorses are getting jittery!**

**Emo: Cool it! Come on Link.**

**-The two walk inside-**

**Emo: Here, read your dare while I.. um... stow this in the closet... -runs away-**

**Link: -reads paper- Well, my favorite peice of equipment would probably be a tie between the bow and arrows and Din's fire. And you want me to do something like that?**

**Emo: -walks back in- The customer's always right. Anyway, I just- -doorbell rings- Ruto! Get the door! -grabs Link and throws him in closet along with fangirls, Malo, Talo, Beth, the Postman, AND the Killer Bees from Windfall Island. Eventually hears chaos-**

**Emo: -rubs hands- Heh, I love myself.**

**Ruto: -runs back in, smiles right in front of Emo's face- It's your co-writer!**

**Emo: What?! -hurls himself to door to slam it shut- Hey, Ruto, get Marin while I do... -flashing light- ...this? Oh (bleep)ing alchemy!**

**BOOM!**

**Risu: Why the hell would you keep me out? -waves spear threateningly at Emo's face-**

**Ruto comes with Marin**

**Emo: -backs away from Risu and hands Marin dare- That's for you. And guys! This my co-writer, silver candle, but for this session, we can just call her Risu.**

**Marin: -ignores the sudden random arguement between Emo and Risu- Well the outside world is exciting, but some things are painful to watch, such as those two fighting.  
Emo: Leave me the hell out of your dare!  
Marin:** **-Grabs bunny and hikes to a lake, and then stops at a cliff- I don't wanna!**

**Risu: That's right, rebel against the emo! -blinks- Hey! That's a bunny! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!**

**Emo: Drop it! -grabs video/audio camera-**

**Marin: -lets go, Emo jumps after it to record its suffering-**

**Emo: Oh (bleep)!  
-SPLASH-**

**Emo: Without further interruption, here's Zelda!**

**Zelda: -Takes turns making out with Zant and Ganon-**

**Emo & Risu: Ugh! Not Zant...**

**Emo: -reads dare sheet- Keybladeboy, this last part practically makes us brothers. -lines up Ruto and Navi, then puts up sign-**

**Ruto: Oh this so exciting!**

**Navi: ... we're about to die!**

**Ruto: I know! What's it like in the Sacred Realm I've wondered!**

**Navi: You're about find out!!**

**-Wham! Bang! Blam!-**

**Emo: My turn! Die Ruto!**

**-makes Ruto burst into flames-**

**Emo: Mwahahahahahahahahaha!**

**Risu: I can do better!**

**-claps hands and grabs Navi. Light shines, and she drops nothing but blood-**

**Emo: You stopped at step two!!**

**Risu: So, we're evil! I thought we had an excuse! -laughs evilly and claps hands while jumping up and down-**

**Emo: You thought I was mad, wow... I'm proud of you!**

**Risu: -punches Emo- No hugging...**

**Emo: -rubs face- fine, depress me...**

**Risu: -pats Emo's head, Emo growls- Anyways, since he's depressed, next dare!**

* * *

_a truth-or-dare fic_

_Link:(T) Is it true that you like Zelda more then Ruto, Saria & Malon  
Link & Zelda:(D) If yes you those three get to hit you with piniata sticks if no they do it anyway  
Ganondorf: (D) Make out with Naboouo (Spelling Wrong)_

_sonicx man_

_

* * *

_

**Risu: -hands sheet of paper to Link- That's for you.**

**Emo: YARGH!! -tackles Risu, both start childishly fighting(kicking, punching, biting etc.)- You're not taking over my show, dammit!**

**Risu: My show's better and more insane and you need my help! ADMIT IT DAMMIT!**

**Link: Do I like Zelda? NO! Look at how many times I saved her (bleep)! Did I get a reward for it?! NO! Not even a hug or a kiss! Not even a (bleep)ing congradulatory handshake! No! -walks over to Malon- I love Malon! She's fair, loving, and (bleep) man, she gave me a free horse in OoT!**

**Emo: -stops fighting with Risu- ow... Ganondorf, this is yours! -shoves sheet of paper to Ganon's stomach, then argues with Risu again-**

**Ganon: Aw... Emo and Risu sitting in a...**

**Emo: -hurls himself towards Ganon- AARGH! Don't start! Just read the dare and leave me alone! -sulks in corner-**

**Ganon: -reads quickly before squealing like a girl- Yes! Come to me Nabooru! -makes out with Nabooru-**

_

* * *

_

Risu: That's all we have! And I hope you boost Emo's self-esteem by reviewing more dares! Just make sure they're really crazy like the ones I get for the FMA truth or dare! WAHAHAHA!

Emo: ...You're insane...and leave my (bleep)ing self-esteem out of this! -sobs-

Link: When do I get to take the dress off?

Emo: -yells angrily at Link in German-

Risu: I think that means no. -mutters something in French-

Emo: Ja!

Link: What's that mean?

Risu: That means I'm right and he's wrong.

Link: WWAAAA!!

Emo: Do you enjoy poisoning the minds of young children such as Link?

Risu: He's a child?

Emo: Look at him!

-Link in fetal position-


	3. Chapter 3

Emo returned to closet featured in last episode, grabbing the box. He opened it and saw what he expected. "Soiled Milk" from his co-writer, Silver Candle.

"Dear Emo, I heard you might need my help, so I sent you soiled milk. If you wanna use it correctly, force-feed it to those least expecting it. Risu"

Ganon: -Peeks his head through window in living room- Sir, I think we're ready!

Emo: Thank you Ganon... -walked outside and went inside car-

Link: I didn't know you could drive.

Emo: I can't. Not legally anyway. -evil smile, mashes his foot on the gas pedal-

Link, Ganon, Zelda and Malon: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

* * *

**-in the building-**

**Emo: Let's see the dares! I will now read the first one aloud!**

* * *

_Link: if you found out shiek was real what would you do?  
zelda: do you know if you and link are realy brother and sister? and how do you feel about ruining the best person in the world (sheik)! gods go die!  
ruto/navi: go kill your selfs in the most in human way posible.  
(ps love what your doing here, keep up the fun)_

minda J.

* * *

**Link: I don't know, continue with life, I guess.**

**Emo: You're no fun. Rant!**

**Link: Wha?**

**Emo: Rant you (bleep)ing elf! -grabs shotgun, cocks it-**

**Link: B-But I don't know what that is...**

**Emo: Link, do you know what explosive shells do to you when they impact with the bo-**

**Risu: YARGH! -Blasts Emo with same type of shells-**

**Link: Hey Emo, there are holes in you. BIG holes!**

**Emo: Forget it... just continue with the dare.**

**Zelda: I honestly don't know about that. My father Daphnes never told me about a second child. And I AM Shiek! How do I ruin him!**

**Emo: -mutters to Risu- There's something I wanna say but shouldn't. -Risu smirks-**

**Ruto: I already died before! Why do you people hate me!**

**Emo: Risu, explain.**

**Risu: You're a whiny self-centered (bleep)ing (bleep) who needs to die.**

**Emo: I'll go Mustang on your (bleep) -throws Molotov Cocktails at Ruto, shoots Navi with taser and leaves it on-**

* * *

_Link:(D)Return Ruto from the dead and then makeout with her. I would love to see you suffer._

_AmazingZeldafan09_

* * *

**Ruto: I can breathe!**

**Emo: -sings- which is unnecessary...**

**Link: -face turns green- I don't feel good.**

**Ganon: Whoa, Link. You're the same color as your outfit.**

**Link: Shut up... -kisses Ruto, then throws up on her-**

**Emo: Haha, I gotta send this to AmazingZeldafan09 -records-**

* * *

hehe.hehe.  
Link, T: What is your opinion on applesauce? (I'm sorry, I just have to know!)  
Link, D: Sleep one night with 10 cuccos in the room.

Ganon, T: Is it true you like to cook?

Zelda, D: Throw Link in prison for no apparent reason.

Ganon, D: play with Toon Link for an hour. Actually, two. You. MUST. DO. THIS.

LinkwithRedSox

* * *

**Link: My opinion on applesauce... it's a sauce... made of apples...**

**Emo: Well, that's Link for ya.**

**Ganon: Cooking is my passion! I love cooking! It inspires the creativity within me!**

**Risu: You're creative?**

**Emo: You'd think he be more creative when it comes to taking over Hyrule.**

**Ganon: I'll show you how creative I am when I kill you!**

**Emo: -TT- Wanna be fired?**

**Ganon: -On hands and knees- No! Please! I'm sorry, I won't do it again.**

**Zelda: Guards, take him away! -points at Link, who's eating-**

**Link: -mouth full- huh? AH! -get's tackled and thrown in prison- (bleep) you all.**

**Emo and Risu: Whatever.**

**Ganon: What do you wanna play?**

**T. Link: Let's play guards and bandits!**

**Ganon: I call bandit. -T. Link stabs him in an uncomfortable area, Ganon squeals like a girl and falls down-**

**T. Link: Let's play some more!**

**Ganon: T-T -sobs-**

* * *

_lmao a funny idea. heres a dare  
Link:i dare you to go to zelda's father and tell him you got her pregnent while he is giving a speech to everybody_

omegarulesall

* * *

**-At the town plaza-**

**Emo: -imitates the Terminator- Do it now!**

**Daphnes: People of Hyrule! I am pleased to announce that-**

**Link: -jumps to stage- I got Zelda pregnant!**

**Daphnes: -freezes, crowd gasps- Excuse me?! How dare a lowly peasant like you-!**

**Link: Buh bye now! AAAHHHH!! -chased by soldiers, not guards, soldiers-**

* * *

_i hae a dare for a lot of thgem..._

Zant Twilight Pricenss) I dare you to sing the cuppy cake song. i also want to know do you like Midna or me more?

Link i want you to dance with Ganondorf.

Ganon:i want you to tell us why you always kidnap Zelda.

Midna: go three days without eating cookies.

another for Zant: Say pound it three times faster then normal while bending backwwards like you do.

and finally...tingle i dare you to shut uf for three montsh.

Lots of love, especaly for Zand and Link,

Crazy Albino Ninja

* * *

**Zant: Excuuuse me?**

**Emo: -Grabs sniper rifle, loads in a couple rounds- Do it, before I kill Twili in front of you. Your Twili anyway.**

**Zant: You wouldn't...**

**Emo: -blasts Twili soldier- Wanna bet?**

**Zant: -Sings cuppy cake song-**

**Emo: This isn't amusing... -grabs rifle- Dance as well! -blasts random spots near Zant's feet, making him hop all over the room.**

**Risu: (bleep)ing trigger-happy overly-emotional psychotic bastard.**

**Emo: Well excuuuse me Princess!**

**Link: That's my line!**

**Emo: Hey, I'd make a better Link than you any day of the week!**

**Link:...**

**Ganon: It's true.**

**Link: -bawls-**

**Risu: Cheer up Link, you get to dance with Ganon!**

**Link: What?!**

**Risu: Should we do a fast song or a slow-dance song?**

**Emo: Let's make him suffer... slow-dance.**

**Ganon: -embraces Link and dances with him-**

**Emo: -tear- They grow up so fast. -blows nose-**

**Risu: You're such a drama queen.**

**Ganon: Well, believe or not... I get lonely! -cries-**

**Emo: Try being alone for six years!**

**Ganon: You're right, -sniff- I get it better than most people.**

**Midna: I can't! I love cookies! -reaches for box, Risu snatches it away-**

**Risu: No! Do your dare! If anyone's gonna have a cookie, it's me. -puts hand in jar-**

**Emo: No! -tackles Risu- I won't let you! You'll end all sentient life on Earth... and Hyrule!**

**Zant: -reads second dare- Oh yeah. Pound it, pound it, pound it! -bends back everytime he says "pound it!"-**

**Emo and Risu: Gross! -shoot him together-**

**Tingle: Oompah, Loompah Kaloo-Limpah!**

**Emo: Shut up! -aims at him-**

**Tingle: -shuts up-**

* * *

_Hey Pyro!  
Vaati:(D) Dress up as a girl and dye his hair black._

Link:(D) Run around in a bikini yelling "I'm a girl and I know it!"

_Skull Fairy Zombie

* * *

_

**Emo: -grabs clothes from random dresser- Hey Vaati!**

**Vaati: Huh, whoa!**

**Emo: There! -claps hands together- Now I'm satisfied.**

**Risu: Is that my blouse?!**

**Emo: -shields Vaati- No! What are you talking about?! I don't see a blouse!**

**Risu: -glares- You're both dead! -grabs giant seven-barreled laser cannnon-**

**Emo and Vaati: Holy (bleep)!**

**Risu: -blasts both of them, Emo reaches and gasps for air-**

**Ganon: What color should it be?**

**Risu: Green?**

**Ganon: No, he wears that too much...**

**Link: Hey guys. Uh, Ganon? May I ask why you're in the girl's section of the store?**

**Ganon: -hands Link his dare as he silently reaches for a random bikini-**

**Link: What?!**

**Risu: Grab him! -Both Risu and Ganon tackle him-**

**-ten minutes of torture later-**

**Risu: Sing it! -slap-**

**Link: Never!**

**Risu: Sing it now! -punch-**

**Link: I can take physical pain!**

**Emo: -grabs shotgun- Is that so? -cocks the gun-**

**Link: -runs around- I'm a girl and I know it! -crowd takes pictures-**

* * *

_PE: I dare you to make out with Ruto and Navi._

Risu: I ALSO dare you to make out with Ruto and Navi!!

new and improved evil laugh

_keybladeboy

* * *

_

**Emo and Risu: What?!**

**Ganon and Link: Yes! -Ganon grabs Emo and Link grabs Risu, pushing them to Ruto and Navi-**

**Emo: (bleep) you (bleep)ing (bleep)es! -lips touch Ruto's, Risu's touch Navi's and vice versa)**

**Link: -high-fives Ganon-**

**Emo: You're both dead! -blasts them with RPG launcher, Risu uses handgun-**

* * *

_Shiek:-dare-Dress like a balerina and dance to the sugarplum song_

Vaati:-dare-Shrink yourself back down to Minish size and challenge Link to a rematch. You can not change sizes before or during the fight.

Ganondorf:-truth-Does being the only male in an all woman tribe effect you in any way? If so, then how?

_Gary

* * *

_

**Shiek: Very well. -puts on outfit and dances to song-**

**Emo: That's no fun. -pulls lever- Now try dancing when surrounded by... ZOMBIES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAA!**

**Shiek: Oh (bleep)! -dances faster, eventually gets eaten-**

**Emo: Ha!**

**Risu: You're mean...**

**Emo: I know. -rubs hands together-**

**Vaati: Alright. -shrinks- Fight me Link!**

**Link: SEYAA!!**

**Vaati: -sends powerful spell to Link, throwing to the other side of Hyrule- I win! -winks-**

**Ganondorf: Well I'll admit that sexual temption is very high...**

**Emo: And that's all we need to know... -grabs Steyr and begins shooting a practice target-**

* * *

Emo: This was too much fun to write!

Risu: Check out my Truth or Dare for Fullmetal Alchemist! Just search for that. And it's Silver Candle, not Risu. Emo, are you still brushing your teeth?!

Emo: I taste fish spit! That's not cool!

Ganon: Let us know when you-

Emo: DIE!! -tackles Ganondorf-

Risu: -sighs- boys...


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I updated a day earlier! YAY! If the summary says otherwise, next chapter will be updated in two weeks prior to the 25th! Thanks for your patronage and I hope to see you guys again with dares.

Search for silver candle to see her Fullmetal Alchemist Truth or Dare, which is guaranteed to be more insane than mine!

And yes, Silver candle is in the story, we just call her Risu.

* * *

Emo cooked his usual breakfast as he prepared himself to go to torture the characters. The front door began to click and Risu unlocked and opened the door.

Risu: Emo!

Emo: AAAHHH!! -drops pan with eggs, begins to breathe heavily-

Risu: What's wrong with you?

Emo: How'd you get in my house?!

Risu: I made a copy of your key...

Emo: You what?!

Risu: Let's go to work. We can talk about it later.

Emo: -growls- My breakfast...

Risu: Oh stop whining, we'll stop at Sonic. -pats Emo's head-

Emo: -smiles-

* * *

**Ganon: Took you guys long enough to get here... -puts final card in the "Hold 'em river"-**

**Midna: For real... I match your 25 and raise it by 50.**

**Link: (bleep)! I fold...-gives cards to Ganon-**

**Ganon: Show your cards.**

**Midna: I win, FLUSH!**

**Zelda: Flush AND two pair! I win!**

**Midna: -glares- slimy (bleep)**

**Emo: You guys ready?**

**All: NO!**

**Emo & Risu: Too bad! -snatches cards-**

* * *

_lmao this was hilarious.  
Link(t): why do you always attack cuccos?  
Link(d): use dins fire on one million cuccos._

Ganon:(D) take over emos mind and make him use shot gun on random person.

_omegarulesall

* * *

_

**Link: It's entertaining, and I get to put my "cruelty to animals" thing to work!**

**Emo: Here's a question: Why don't you kill bunnies?**

**Link: What?! They're adorable! I wouldn't hurt one!**

**Risu: Yay! I found a believer!**

**Emo: Weak-siding, rodent-loving (bleep)...**

**Risu: -sticks out tongue-**

**Link: Din's Fire!! -burns one million cuccos-**

**Emo: -in bomb shelter, peeking through eyepiece- Here it comes! -claps hands excitedly-**

**-few seconds later-**

**Link: AAAHHH!! RAPE!! GET OFF!! POLICE!! I'M BEING RAPED BY CUCCOS!!**

**Ganon: I'm gonna enjoy this! -hands glow-**

**Emo: Hell nooo... -slurs, drools-**

**Risu: Let the battle begin!**

**Ganon: -Puts on hat and turns it around- Alright, Emo! I choose you! -throws pok'e ball-**

**Emo: -emotionless- sorrow...**

**Risu: Is that all he says?**

**Emo: -emotionless- demise...**

**Ganon: Nope!**

**-Ganon sends out Emo, Zelda sends out Midna-**

**Ganon: Let's get this over with! Emo, -points- Shotgun attack!**

**Emo: despair... -charges gun, fires-**

**Zelda & Midna: Looks like we're blasting off agaaaiiinnn!!**

**Risu: It's obviously super effective! -raises flag- Midna is down, Ganon and Emo are the winner!**

**Ganon: Yay!**

**Emo: depression...**

**-after 2 1/2 hours-**

**Emo: Next dare! -wipes off drool-**

* * *

_No one has dared Dark Link yet so I have one. I dare you to make out link. I love daring people to do stuff like That. Aso I have a question for Gannon, Why is your skin green?_

_Akako Hama

* * *

_

**Dark Link: Come here sexy!**

**Link: Holy (bleep) stay away!! -runs-**

**Dark Link: -glomps Link, makes out with him-**

**Emo: Yes, why is your skin green Ganon?**

**Ganon: What Miyamoto said was a cover-up story for the true reason behind my existence! The true story was that I, Ganondorf, King of Evil, was -throws off cape and armor and flexes muscles- RAISED BY PLANTS!!**

**Emo: -gasps, then spontaneously combusts-**

**Risu: Link, give him CPR while I read the next dare...**

**Link: What?**

* * *

_That was so funney! I want Link to dress up in Zelda's dress and Zelda to put on Link's tunic! And I want Navi to die herself red and black! I also want Ganondorf to be coverred in stakes and stand in front of a pack of Wolfoses.(is that correct grammer?)_

_Dragon Flute Witch

* * *

_

**Link and Zelda: No!**

**Emo: You will if you want to live!**

**Link: Oh pfft. Whatever...**

**Emo: I'm really not liking you right now Link... -cocks gun-**

**Link: Fine...**

**Zelda: Never!**

**Risu: -hands her a check for 100 dollars-**

**Zelda: No!**

**Emo: Now or you marry Aganihm!**

**Zelda: ARGH! Fine! -switches clothes with Link-**

**Aganihm: -sniffles-**

**Link: I lost my confidence as a man...**

**Emo: You mean boy.**

**Link: Leave me alone! -cries-**

**Emo: TT**

**Navi: Cool! -Paints herself red and black-**

**Emo: Ha! Your emo now!**

**Navi: Not cool!**

**Ganon: Bring it on! I can take physical pain!**

**Emo: Don't you hate wolves?**

**Ganon: Yes! Wait, what?**

**Emo: -pulls lever, wolfoes emerge-**

**Ganon: No! Stay back you flea-bags! -chomp- AAAHHH!!**

* * *

_Vaati:-dare-dress like a japanese teenage girl, walk into an all womans  
lesbian club, and announce you're a woman attracted to women. You can not flee  
the scene until someone figues out you're a guy._

Link:-dare-rip Navi's wings off.  
Link:-dare-date Zelda, Ruto, Saria, and Malon at the same time. You can't let  
them find out that you're dating multiple people at once.

_screwtherulesihavemoney!!

* * *

_

**Vaati: That's not me at all!**

**Emo: True, but Asian girls are hot right?**

**Vaati: Most of them.**

**Emo: Well, won't you want them all over you?**

**Vaati: ... Maybe.**

**Emo: Good! Risu will dress you up as she pleases.**

**Vaati: What?!**

**Risu: -snips scissors- Hi.**

**Vaati: oh (bleep).**

**-2 hours later-**

**Vaati: How do I look?**

**Risu: You're very pretty. Right Emo?**

**Emo: Yeah, whatever, let's just get him to the club.**

**Vaati: So are you guys going?**

**Emo: Nope, we're Christian. Even if I wasn't, I'm pretty much sworn to chastity.**

**Vaati:... wait! What kind of club is this?!**

**Risu: A lesbian club.**

**Emo: A lesbian _sex _club.**

**Vaati: What? No!**

**Emo: -throws Vaati inside- He'll probably be there for the entire night.**

**Risu: Maybe. Alright Link, look at your dare.**

**Link: Excuse me?**

**Emo: Come on Link, you can do it!**

**Link: Yay! -rips Navi'swings off, leaving Navi to swear violently-**

**Emo: Read the rest...**

**Link: Oh I can do it, no sweat.**

**-Emo and Link went to the local cafe at HyruleCastle Town which, having been renovated, was much larger and spacious-**

**Link: Hey Malon.**

**Malon: Hi Link.**

**Risu: Do you think Link can last?**

**Emo: No. Which is why I'm sending in Saria. -presses button-**

**Link: -sees Saria- Um, I gotta go... stretch... my leg...**

**Malon: Okay, come back.**

**-Link continues to do this repeatedly for the rest of the chapter-**

* * *

_Hi it's crazy albino ninja again, with more dares!! An some truiths._

_Ganondorf: Ask Zelda to marry you,then beg until she does! 0o_

_Zant: gimme a hug and a kiss!! (i'm haveing fun)_

_Link: Assassinate Britany Spears._

_Zelda: Admit it, you like Brittany spears!_

_Vatti: eat very spicy indian curry._

_Navi: fly in fromt of a 18 wheeler._

_Ganon: pour hot sauce on everything._

_Shiek: aquire a whip, and beat ganon. And tell us your teagic lofe story._

_Link: who do yor really ove, MIdna, Zelda, or Risa? Or is it Ganon?_

_Zant: who is your aerobics instructor?_

_Midna: Get in that kitchen, and make me some Pie!_

_albino Ninja Brandie

* * *

_

**Ganon: Very well. -walks over to Zelda-**

**Zelda: -unenthusiastic- What?**

**Ganon: Umm... Zelda? I... was wondering... if you... would like to... marry me?**

**Zelda: ... no.**

**Ganon: What?!**

**Risu: No killing.**

**Ganon: Urgh... please marry me?**

**Zelda: No. I refuse.**

**Ganon: Gold and jewelry.**

**Zelda: I will... did you say gold and jewelry?**

**Ganon:... maybe...**

**Zelda: ... I LOVE YOU! -glomps Ganon-**

**Emo: Ew... bad image... I'm much more comfortable with Ganon and Link...**

**Zant: As you wish! -kisses albino ninja brandie-**

**Emo:... -falls over in disgust-**

**Link: Yes! Now I get to show off my awesome ninja skills! -wears black outfit-**

**Britany: Hello?**

**Link: Die!! -jumps from shadows-**

**Britany: Rape!!**

**Emo:... Did she scream rape?**

**Risu: That's what I heard.**

**Zelda: I LOVED her!!**

**Emo: -grabs shotgun-Oh well. -blasts Zelda- Moving on.**

**Vaati: Yes! I've always wanted to... who's cooking.**

**Emo: -scrapes knives together, grinningand chuckling evilly-**

**Risu: -covers eyes- It's just like Barry the Chopper all over again.**

**Emo: Curry's ready!**

**Vaati: ... oh boy... -eats- Holy (beep) that's (beep)ing hot! (beep) man, that tastes like (beep)!**

**Emo: -sniffles- Is my cooking really that bad?**

**Risu: Let me try. -takes bite, then coughs repeatedly and eyes begin to water- -cough-no-cough-**

**Navi: What?**

**Ganon: -whistles innocently, then flicks Navi in the middle of the street.**

**Truck: -HONK-**

**Navi: Holy Shi -SPLAT!-**

**Driver:... ooohhhh a firefly... -CRASH!-**

**Emo:... That could've been worse...**

**Risu: You think?**

**Ganon: Yay! Hot sauce!! -begins pouringon everything-**

**Emo: Duck! -hot sauce flies over his head- (beep), I'm tired of him already!**

**Risu: Oh let him have fun... just you're not able to doesn't mean he can't either... Emo?**

**Emo: -cries-**

**Risu: -scoffs- Boys...**

**Sheik: DIE GANONDORF!**

**Ganon: Huh? NO! Don't kill me! -thwap!- I"m sorry for the -thwap!- hot sauce! -thwap!, thwap!, THWAP!- MOMMY!! -thwap!-**

**Sheik: I refuse to tell anyone anything.**

**Emo:... -looks at whip- Okay... you don't have to...**

**Link: Let's see... Midna left me... Zelda refuses to reward me... I hate Ganon...**

**Ganon: WHAT?!**

**Link: I love Risu!**

**Emo: -cough- What?**

**Risu:... really? Wow... that's... unique...**

**Emo: I should write a RisuXLink story now... heh heh heh.**

**Risu: NO! -grabs gun-**

**Emo: Fine... ugh...**

**Zant: I taught myself thank you...**

**Zelda: Yeah, whatever...**

**Zant: WEE! -bounces off the walls... literally-**

**Midna: PIE!**

**Emo: -looks up from magazine- No. You're supposed to give to the reviewer... she wanted it.**

**Midna: Aw... fine... -hands the pie to albino Ninja Brandie-**

**Risu: This is exhausting...**

**Emo: Let's do it some more!**

* * *

_Link: I dare you to admit that you liked running around in a dress saving people._

Zelda: I dare you to take a re-dead and Kiss for 12 min.

thanks for that video of Link kissin Ruto Emo. That was way too funny

_AmazingZeldaFan09

* * *

_

**Link: I kinda did like it... and I still do! -prances around-**

**Emo: Hmmm... prancingor dancing... -grabs shotgun- I want you to DANCE! -fires randomly-**

**Link: AHH!! -hops around, Risu chokes on popcorn while laughing, then records for reviewer-**

**Zelda: Twelve minutes...? Oh gods...**

**Risu: -pushes large box with Emo next to her, also pushing- What's a re-dead?**

**Emo: It's like a zombie... only slower but more annoying... Oh good, finally. -clears throat- Presenting the horror of the Shadow Temple, I give unto Zelda, a re-dead!**

**Crowd: GASP!**

**Emo: Indeed! And she will have to make out with said re-dead for twelve minutes!**

**Random person #1: Oh my gosh!**

**Emo: It's true! And it's like survivor all over again, isn't it?**

**Random person #2: I agree!**

**Zelda: ugh... -begins making out with re-dead, Risu records-**

**-After 11 minutes-**

**Crowd, Emo and Risu: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Zero!**

**Emo: Congratulations Zelda, you did the most annoying challenge ever! How do you feel?**

**Zelda: -throws up on Emo's suit-**

**Emo:... Well I've seen worse folks. Come back later for the next act!**

**Crowd: -cheers-**

**Emo: -closes curtain- Alright, let's see what's next.**

* * *

_Ha, fish spit. -evil laugh- I'm overusing that, I think. Anyways, awesome chapter!_

_Link: I dare you to prance around in a bikini with Dark AND Toon Links, who will also be wearing bikinis! xD_

_Zelda: I dare you to switch roles with Link for a new LoZ game. (i.e, your the swordswoman trying to save the prince)_

_P.E and Risu: I DARE YOU TO MAKE OUT WITH EACH OTHER! -super evil laugh-_

_Keybladeboy_

* * *

**Link: Well, I did it once, I'll do it again... and you two are joining!**

**Dark Link: Very well.**

**Toon Link: Awesome!**

**Risu: -watches them prance- This is so wrong... make them dance.**

**Emo: No.**

**Risu: Aw why not? Please? -gives him begging face-**

**Emo: Fine. But I'm not using my shotgun...**

**Risu: Wow, that's new. -tosses bag at him-**

**Emo: -looks in bag- Fire grenades?! You're the best!**

**Risu: -smiles-**

**Emo: Run and jump faster! -throws a handful of bombs-**

**Dark Link: What?! ARGH! -catches fire-**

**Link: I'm on fire!! -runs around crazily-**

**Toon Link: My butt my butt my butt!!**

**Emo: -cackles evilly as he lobs more bombs-**

**Risu: -sighs- Zelda, I'll help you.**

**Zelda: Thanks. -grabs sword and shield_-_**

**_Link: There were untold legends of girl..._**

**Zelda: ARGH! -spins attacks Moblins-**

**_Link: Who traveled great lengths and across many lands..._**

**Zelda: AH! -falls down-**

**_Link: And risked her life..._**

**Zelda: -fights ganondorf-**

**_Link: To save... me._**

**_The Legend of Link: The Wind Breaker-avaliable for Wii and DS... psyche!-_**

**Ganon: Um... Guys, read your dare.**

**Emo: Let me see. -looks with Risu, both of their eyes widen-**

**Emo & Risu: Um... I gotta go...**

**Zelda: Oh come on! You two might as well go out!**

**Ganon: Do it now!**

**Dark Link & Link: Make out!**

**Risu: Well... but!**

**Emo: I really must object...**

**Crowd: GET ON WITH IT!**

**Emo: ... ugh, there goes my reputation... -grabs Risu and kisses her-**

**Ganon: There, was that so hard?**

**...**

**Link: Uh... you two can stop now.**

**Zelda: No, I'm recording this for future generations. The emo finally found love.**

**Emo: -pulls away- Okay, we're done.**

**Risu: Yep. Next dare!**

* * *

_Midna:(T) Why do you like cookies so Much?  
(D) (gives tons of cakes to Midna) Throw these at everyone!_

_Ruto:(T) Is it true that, like a frog, you'll die if salt is poured on you? Because if so... you know what to do, everyone!_

_Link:(T) Who would you rather make out with, Malon or Saria? Be careful, as both of them are crazy in their own way!_

_mr.power555_

* * *

**Midna: They're filled with sugar. And when I bake them... alcohol!**

**Emo: We can see that.**

**Midna: What?!**

**Risu: Here's the cakes. -hands them to Midna-**

**Emo: What?! -throws himself to Midna, arm outstretched in slow-motion- NOOOOOOoooooooo!!**

**Midna: Yay! -throws cake everywhere-**

**Emo: -dives behind sandbags with Risa, both panting as they hear screaming- Could be worse.**

**Risu: True... -explosion-**

**Ganon: Warlock punch! -splat, splatsplatsplat... SPLAT!- ARGH!**

**Emo: -reads dare- Hey Ruto!**

**Ruto: Yes?**

**Emo: Catch! -throws capsule at Ruto, and she catches it-**

**Ruto: What do I do with this?**

**Risu: You'll see.**

**Link: Hehheh... -presses button-**

**Ruto: -capsule explodes salt all over her, and she begins melting- I'm melting! MELTING! ARGH! WHAT A STUPID BOY! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! AAAAHHHHhhhhhh!! ughhhhh!!...**

**Emo: Huh, it's like the Witch of the West.**

**Risu: You watch Wizard of Oz?**

**Emo: It's a classic.**

**Link: Let's find out. -kisses Malon, then Saria- ... Malon!**

**Emo: Give your reason.**

**Link: She gives more tongue.**

**Emo: -covers face- I really needed to know that Link...**

* * *

Emo: Well, that was a good day at work huh?

Risu: Yeah... hehheh, bikinis.

Emo: I loved that. -opens Risu's door at truck-

Risu: What now? -shuts door as Emo gets in driver's seat-

Emo: Let's go to lunch first... I never ate breakfast.

Risu: What about Sonic?

Emo: YOU ATE MY BREAKFAST BURRITO!

Risu: -pouts-

Emo: Oh come on! -shakes Risu's shoulder- Let's get chinese.

Risu: Alright.

-VROOM-

Emo: YEEHAWWWW!!

-sirens blare-

Emo:... (beep)!


	5. Chapter 5

Emo: Time for work...

Risu: Hey Emo.

Emo: Come on.

Risu: You seem bored.

Emo: Worst. Summer. Ever.

Risu: Oh come on, you're about to torture characters, look lively!

Emo: -smiles-

Risu: That's better.

* * *

_How to put this...Ah, here we go! YOU'RE WELCOME. grins And now for dares and truths of dare-i-ness and truthiness!_

_Ganon: I dare you to post that video of Emo and Risu making out on Youtube!_

_Zelda: Why HAVEN'T you given Link a reward yet? Not even a kiss on the nose! Even Mario gets a kiss every once in a while. Also, what's your opinion on Princess Peach?_

_Link: I dare you to make out with Ruto and Navi at the same time!_

_Link: I ALSO dare you to fight to the death against...MARIO!_

_Emo: I DARE YOU TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH AGAINST RISU!_

keybladeboy

* * *

**Emo: What?!**

**Ganon: Mwahahahaha! –walks to computer desk-**

**Emo & Risu: NO! –tackles Ganon-**

**Ganon: -reaches up to keyboard painfully- Sub…mit… -presses enter-**

**Emo: … argh! –bangs head on floor-**

**Risu: Shut up! I'm in it just as much as you are!**

**Emo: (bleep)**

**Zelda: I've given him a reward: I let him live.**

**Link: What?!**

**Zelda: You take too (bleep)ing long to rescue me from that pig!**

**Ganon: -sobs- Pig?**

**Emo: Shut up, it's your spirit animal after all.**

**Ganon: AH! –runs away with international passport, sobbing-**

**Link: I deserve a reward!**

**Zelda: Fine. –hugs Link-**

**Emo: What's your opinion on Peach?**

**Zelda: UGH! She's (bleep)ing (bleep) who wears too much (bleep)ing make-up and only cares about herself and no one else except for Mario!**

**Emo:… Well, that was lovely.**

**Link:… May I be excused?**

**Risu: No! Don't go!**

**Link: I don't wanna do it!**

**Emo: You're doing it! –grabs energy-based shotgun-**

**Link: What the (bleep)?!**

**Emo: It's a new kind of shotgun buddy. This thing's gonna make you fly higher and farther than what the Majora's Moon does to ya. –cocks gun, mechanical whirring emits from gun-**

**Link: Fine. –kisses Navi, then turns to Ruto-**

**Ruto: Beloved elf! –glomps Link-**

**Link: No!! This is so wrong!**

**Risu: -sighs- Poor, innocent boy…**

**Emo: Agreed. –blasts Dark Link with gun, sending him away and blowing Emo back into the wall ten feet away from him- … Wow… Alright Link, time to fight Mario.**

**Link: Huh…?**

**Mario: It's a me! Mario! –appears from the sky and begins to hurl fireballs at Link-**

**Link: Nice try! –runs to Mario and attempts to slash him-**

**Mario: Waha! –jumps over Link and pounds on him with a mallet multiple times, reducing the already-weak Link to a pulp-**

**Emo: -kneels next to Link- Link… I'm disappointed in you.**

**Link: -sobs- I HATE YOU ALL!!**

**Risu: Hey, Emo says that a lot.**

**Emo: Shut up! –right hand emits fire from beneath to sleeve, burning the sleeve off-**

**Risu: Make me! –draws circle in ground and places hand on it, creating a, metal spear from the poorly washed metal floor-**

**Link: Now would be a perfect time to start the next dare…**

**Ganon: I agree, let's go outside for this one though… we almost destroyed the roof with Mario crashing in.**

**-everyone goes outside-**

**Ganon: -wears suit- Alright! Let's get this dare started! First, in the dark corner, a man of intelligence and wit but certainly not emotional control…**

**Emo: (bleep) you!**

**Ganon:… I give you the living pyromancing legend, the one only Pyromaniacal Emo!**

**Crowd: Boo! You suck! Go to Hell, tiny!**

**Emo: Quit calling me short! –burns random areas in seating area-**

**Ganon: And in the even darker corner, I give a young lady who most people fear!**

**Risu: -brandishes spear- Excuse me?!**

**Ganon: She's quite the alchemist for mankind, and she's certainly controlled compared to the emo.**

**Emo: -sulks in corner- Just let me kill her… so I can kill you…**

**Risu: -smiles-**

**Ganon: The one and only, Silvercandle! –points to sign reading: ALSO KNOWN AS RISU-**

**Crowd: We love you! You go girl! Kick his (bleep)ing ass tiny!**

**Risu: ARGH! –claps hands together, slams them on ground and makes seating area behind explode-**

**Ganon: Fighters take your marks! –steps back, then turns and sprints away- Go!**

**Risu: What?!**

**Emo: Die! –throws firebeam at Risu-**

**Risu: Whoa! –ducks underneath attack and runs to Emo, preparing to attack him with a spear-**

**Emo: Stupid girl… -drops hay, leaf-covered twigs and diesel fuel, then burns it, making a smokescreen-**

**Risu: -stops abruptly- What?! –looks around, then sees shadow lunging towards her- Nice try! –ducks-**

**Emo: Damn it! –misses Risu, and Risu whacks him in the back of the head with a spear- Crap! –turns around headbutts Risu in the head, then steps on her chest, holding an unrevealed sword with tip over her face-**

**Risu: Damn you!**

**Emo: You don't mean that. –holds sword high- This will hurt you more than it hurts me. –hesitates-**

**Risu: Too slow! –slaps hand on pre-drawn circle, and rock stretches out to knock the sword out of Emo's hand, then a rock grows from that rock and rams into Emo's groin-**

**Emo: -gasps, CRACK!- Ugh. –falls down, and King Hyrule comes-**

**Daphnes: Alright, that's enough you two.**

**Emo: -clutches groin as he twitches- I'm not done yet!**

**Risu: -kicks him- Yes you are!**

**Emo: -whines-**

* * *

_This is hilarious, OK, I'm feeling evil so, I dare Gannon to fight Hollow Ichigo(who will be using Ban-kai) from Bleach to the death. If he dies give him a fairy(get a few ready because I know the hollow's going to try to kill him agian after you revive him, it's a bloodthirsty monster, and it might eat his soul too.)_

_Akako Hama_

**

* * *

**

Ganon: I'm fighting who?

**Emo: Hell if I know, I don't watch Bleach.**

**Ganon: -reads paper- Hollow Ichigo?**

**Ichigo: Are you Ganon?**

**Ganon: -turns around- And what if I am?**

**Ichigo: If you are, I'll kill you, and hopefully take your soul.**

**Ganon: -uses Jedi mind trick- I am not the man you looking for. –points to Emo- He's the one you looking for…**

**Emo: Say what?!**

**Ichigo: Die!! –charges toward Emo-**

**Emo: Aw crap, this is NOT COOL! –dodges attack- Wait!**

**Ichigo: -pauses-**

**Emo: I have a very important question about Ganon's appearance!**

**Ichigo: Speak now or die…**

**Emo: Do I even look like I was raised by plants?**

**Ichigo: No. –turns to Ganon, who's stuffing his face in the fridge- But he contains chlorophyll…**

**Emo: There you go. Kill him.**

**Ichigo: Die King of Evil!!**

**Ganon: -muffled from drinking milk- What the (bleep)?! –gets tackled by Ichigo, then continues to get beaten-**

**-two hours later-**

**Risu: I need another fairy.**

**Emo: That was the last one. Crap, now who am I gonna pick on? –notices Link walking in- Die Link!**

**Link: What? AH! –BOOM!-**

_

* * *

_

lmao too funny, i fell off my chair when i read this.  
vaati:(T) why did you turn evil? dare- turn link EVIL BAHAHA...

_Majora:KILL THEM ALL hahaha._

_omegarulesall_

**

* * *

**

Vaati: I turned evil because I was picked on by the minish.

**Link: We still love you… -hugs Vaati-**

**Vaati: Perfect timing Link. –zaps Link-**

**Link: Uaaagg… -gets up, then limps toward Emo, moaning-**

**Emo: The reviewer said "evil", not zombified!**

**Vaati: Well, it's close enough.**

**Emo: -slaps his own head, then grabs energy-shot- Die zombie! I release this imprisoned soul to Heaven!**

**Link: (wha?)**

**Emo: May you be rewarded! –pulls trigger, blasting zombie Link to a million pieces, then turns to Stalfoe warriors- You're all next! –cocks gun-**

**Stalfoe army: Run! –runs away as Emo blasts them all bit by bit.**

**Majora: You're stealing my dare! –zaps everyone one at a time-**

**Emo: -stands next to Risu and creates dome-shaped shield- I think we'll live.**

**Risu: Hopefully…**

**Link: AH! -zap-**

* * *

_Ganon: Dare: I dare you to survive an entire day with every other character following you around singing the badger song unceasingly._

_giant-flying-radish-of-doom_

* * *

**Ganon: What?! No!**

**Emo: And just to make it lively, all the characters will dress in boy scout and girls scout costumes! And we'll hike through the woods!**

**Ganon: What do I get?**

**Risu: The scoutmaster's uniform, with the funny hat. And you'll also be leading the way and being the lead singer.**

**Ganon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! –continues saying no for two hours while everyone else sings badger song-**

**Emo: He'd be an excellent singer if he can hold the note for that long.**

**Risu: I agree.**

**-the next day-**

**Ganon: Oh Nayru, Din and Faroe… I beseech thee!**

**Risu: Oh give it a rest emo.**

**Emo: That's my title!**

**Risu: Whatever.**

_

* * *

_

Wow, you are doing one amazing job. I found out while reading this that it's possible to die laughing. Meh.

I dare Sheik to get very drunk and actually reveal his face. Then tell why he always hides it. I need to know...

_KyrieFalcon_

* * *

**Sheik: I refuse to!**

**Risu: Remove the bandages!**

**Sheik: Never!**

**Emo: Do it now before I accuse you of being a terrorist!**

**Sheik: … fine! –removes wrappings-**

**Risu: Wait… red eyes, dark skin… -gasps- You're Ishballan!**

**-two random Fullmetal Alchemist characters come-**

**Ed: Die! –lunges for Sheik, who dodges and whack Ed's head.**

**Scar: How dare you hurt another Ishablan! –tackles Ed-**

**Ed: Rape!**

**Risu: -evil laughter-**

**Emo: So that's why you were hiding it.**

**Sheik: Are you going to kill me?**

**Emo: Even worse… You're my new best friend! –hugs Shiek-**

**Sheik: It burns! AH!**

**Link: … Oooh! Pick me!**

**Risu: What Link?**

**Link: Sheik's on fire!**

**Sheik: ARGH!**

**Emo: Haha. Told ya it'd be worse.**

_

* * *

_

I just registered with fanfiction! I'll have to confess that I am the anonymous mr.power5, but now with an actual pen name, jackattack5! Anyways, to the truths and dares!

_Link:(T) Is it true that, at the end of Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link, you did it with Zelda? Because in the last scene it shows Zelda approaching you just as the window blinds close so that the viewer can't see what's going on in there!_

_Zelda:(T) Why is it that you were so boring, yet as Sheik you were so emo?_

_Everyone:(D) I'm going to introduce all of you to a new type of enemy, a truly terrible type that strangely hasn't appeared in this fanfic yet... FANGIRLS!(sends an army of fangirls to attack everyone) Good luck!_

_Emo:(D) After the battle ends, find out who are the casualties (a.k.a those the fangirls managed to drag off). Then, find out what happened to each one of them as a result of fangirl captivity (though don't do anything to stop their suffering! MUAHAHA) cya :)_

_jackattack555_

_

* * *

_

**Link: That's a secret.**

**Zelda: Yes! It's true!**

**Link:… You ruin everything! –cries-**

**Emo: I knew it! Ha! My assumption was right!**

**Zelda: I was boring because I sepnd too much time with my father.**

**Daphnes: I know! We'll invite the two hosts to your birthday party next year, which I will attend as well!**

**Emo: Thanks!**

**Risu: Sure.**

**Zelda: You see? And the reason I was being an emo as Sheik was because I learned that emos are ignored by everyone who's not an emo.**

**Emo: -raises right hand- That's right Zelda! Testify for us emotional freaks! Wait, what's this say? –reads dare sheet, then looks at Risu, his face pale-**

**Risu: What?**

**Emo: … Fangirl attack!**

**Fangirl army: Charge!**

**Emo: -ducks behind sandbags- Crap!**

**Fangirl: Oh my gosh it's the pyromaniacal emo from issue #1!!**

**Emo: Holy (bleep)! –blasts fangirl with shotgun, then sees Link get pulled away by fangirls-**

**Link: Help! –reaches out as girls pull him in closet-**

**-after the battle-**

**Emo: Guys?**

**Risu: -runs up to Emo- I'm alive.**

**Emo: Good. Wait, is that Ganon?**

**Ganon: ARGH! They burn! The hugs! The kisses! The desperate pleas for autographs! AHHHH!!**

**Emo: -salutes- I'll miss you Ganon…**

* * *

_For dares..._

_Link: Make out with anyone who says they're madly in love with you  
Vaati: tell Link you're gay and madly in love with him. I don't care if you mean it or not  
Dark Link: tell Link you're gay and madly in love with him. I don't care if you mean it or not  
Ganondorf: tell Link you're gay and madly in love with him. I don't care if you mean it or not  
Deku Tree: tell Link you're gay and madly in love with him. I don't care if you mean it or not  
Mido: tell Link you're gay and madly in love with him. I don't care if you mean it or not_

_For Truths..._

_Vaati: Why are you always kidnapping girls?  
Ganondorf: Why are you and every other Gerudo from OoT so ugly?  
Link: Why do you wear a tunic rather than normal clothes.  
Zelda: You like being kidnapped, don't you? Admit it._

_that one person_

_

* * *

_

**Link: What…? What does this mean? Hopefully Malon will tell me.**

**Vaati, D. Link, Ganon, Dekutree and Mido: WE'RE GAY AND MADLY IN LOVE YOU!!**

**Link: What the (bleep) is (bleep)ing wrong with bastards?! NO! –is glomped multiple times-**

**Emo:… Now he's literally a tree hugger… -throws up-**

**Vaati: Well, you know how I roll. Hey Zelda, 'sup?**

**Zelda: … -hugs him-**

**Vaati: Oh yeah, I'm awesome.**

**Ganon: We got from our mother…**

**Twinrova: Ganon! Go to your room for that!**

**Ganon: -pouts- Yes mother… -stalks off to his room in the Spirit Temple-**

**Link: I have only one word to say… blame Miyamoto.**

**Emo: -eyes burst into flames- HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING SO DISGRACEFUL TO YOUR CREATOR! YOU SHOULD BE PUNISHED!! HE BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND HE CAN TAKE YOU OUT!!**

**Link: I'm sorry!! Don't kill me!! –sobs at Emo's feet-**

**Emo: Good. I'm glad we had this little talk.**

**Zelda: Yes, I like it.**

**Risu: Ha!**

_

* * *

_

OMFG HILARIOUS!

_Link T- Who do you like, Malon or Ramani (From Majora's mask)more?_

_Impa D- Turn Link into a girl for at least 2 hours so he can see what being a girl REALLY feels like._

_Link D- (I love giving you dares :D) Go one a date at a fancy french restraunt with Dark link, and Gannon._

_Toon link T- Why do you have such a big head? (Please don't take it offensivly. I'm only here to torture OOT Link and Zelda and everyone else.)_

_Emo& Risu D- Admit that you really liked that kiss! And you can't deny! I mean if you didn't you would have barely kissed anyways._

_AmazingZeldaFan09_

_

* * *

_

**Link: I think I like Malon more than Romani, 'cause I've seen Malon grow up, but I think Romani also grew up. … Sweet! Two Malons!**

**D. Link: I'll take one!**

**Link: NO! I could have two identical wives.**

**Emo: Polygamy!**

**Link: -sticks tongue out at Emo-**

**Impa: Alright. Bippity-Boppity-Boo!**

**Emo: Oh wow, Cinderella!**

**Link: What happened? Is my voice higher?**

**Emo: Oh shut up. We all know you're really a soprano. Now you look like one.**

**Link: How do you put these on?**

**Emo: This is so wrong. –shields eyes-**

**Link: Now that I'm a girl, it's perfectly legal to go out with Ganon and Dark Link.**

**-at the Castle Town Caf'e-**

**Link: So, Ganon, how's your job going?**

**Ganon: Isn't it great?! I got a job as an accountant at Nintendo!**

**Dark Link: Haha, desk-job worker.**

**Link:… I gotta go somewhere. –runs to restrooms, and accidentally runs into the men's restroom, and then looks in stall toilet- Emo! I need help!**

**Emo: -climbs out of toilet wearing diver's suit- What?!**

**Link: First, how do I look?**

**Emo: Do I have to answer?**

**Link: Yes.**

**Emo: …**

**Link: Fine. Am I pretty?**

**Emo: You're something.**

**Link: Oh gee, thanks a lot.**

**Emo: No prob.**

**T. Link: I don't know, I hate my big head! But hey, at least my appearance in SSBB makes up for it!**

**Emo: Not really, the head makes you an easy target.**

**T. Link: Grandma! –sobs to Outset Island-**

**Risu: Well… no. I didn't like it.**

**Emo: Remember that the reviewer last time said "make out"? That's why we "made out". There, we're done. And I didn't like it.**

**Ganon: Oh come on!**

**Emo: … fine, a little.**

**Link: More than that!**

**Emo: I SAID A LITTLE!! –grabs shotgun-**

**Link & Ganon: … sorry.**

**

* * *

**_you'll be hearing a lot from me..._

_Ganon, if you were raised by plants, is Zetsu your father?  
Zant, do you enjoy my sexual harassment?  
Link, is your nose still bleeding?  
Midna, i dare you to rap in front of biggy smalls.  
Vatti, eat MY spicy curry. (Hands him a bowl)  
Ganon: Break dance to celene dion.  
Zant: Tell us all how you are feeling right now.  
Navi, why won't you die!  
Dark Link, marry a random anime girl.  
Zant, will you marry me?_

_albino Ninja Brandie_

* * *

**Ganon: Yes, he's my father!**

**Emo: Ew… Zetsu and Twinrova… ugh…**

**Zant: I enjoy anyone's sexual harassment!**

**Emo:…**

**Risu:…. O…kay?**

**Link: Yes… sadly.**

**Midna: No!**

**Emo: Do it!**

**Midna: NEVER! –blasts Emo-**

**Emo: Urgh… girls are impossible to control.**

**Vaati:… -takes bite- Holy (bleep), not again!! OW! –**

**Shoots up in the sky like a firework-**

**Ganon: I don't know who that is!**

**Emo: It's someone in our world… who I don't even know. Risu!**

**Risu: What?**

**Emo: Check the supply closet!**

**Risu: -mumbles, then Emo hears explosion in the closet-**

**Emo: What was that?**

**Risu: You need to organize more often… ow…**

**Emo: I'm sorry.**

**Risu: Here's your CD. –hands him CD-**

**Emo: Come on, let's get to that couch so you don't collect dust on the floor. –begins to drag Risu-**

**Risu: Oh, be more formal!**

**Emo: … okay? –picks Risu up and carries her to couch, then sets her down and puts CD in the stereo-**

**Ganon:… Fine! –begins to break dance, then he starts to rap-**

**Emo: Oh… my…. Guy…..**

**Zant: I'm fine!**

**Risu: I'm sure you are…**

**Zant: Shut up!**

**Navi: Because I'm a fairy!**

**Emo: There's this old movie called Peter Pan, and I would like to say something to you. –grabs Navi's wings and pulls her to his mouth and whispers:- There's no such thing as fairies.**

**Navi: -shrivels up and dies-**

**Emo: HA!!**

**Dark Link: A random anime girl?**

**Risu: Preferrably a Fullmetal Alchemist girl, be right back. –limps outside-**

**-several minutes pass-**

**Emo: So? How was your day?**

**Dark Link: Delighjtful; I had a date with Link, the hottest man on earth!!**

**Emo: That's… great… I'm happy for you… I guess.**

**Dark Link: -looks at locket with him and Link- And we'll be together forever!**

**Emo: You're his shadow!!**

**Dark Link:… So? I can still kiss him.**

**Emo: Won't Fierce Deity be mad?**

**Dark Link: Yeah, so?**

**Emo: Just curious.**

**Risu: -slams open door- I'm back! –pulls in Winry Rockbell, from FMA-**

**Winry: So where is he? Is he cute? Smart? An auto-mail specialist?!**

**Risu: -sighs-**

**Dark Link: Hello. I'm Dark Link… you're new boyfriend…**

**Winry: -leans toward Risu- You told me he would be taller than Armstrong…**

**Risu: I lied! –pushes Winry to D. Link-**

**Dark Link: -catches Winry- Are you okay?**

**Winry: ...yes... -hugs Dark Link-**

**Emo: ew...**

**Risu: -faints-**

**Emo: Haha.**

**Risu: -punches Emo-**

**Zant: Yes! I have a bride!**

* * *

A/N: Sorry if it wasn't as entertaining as usual. I had a really hard time yelling at my siblings and losing my voice for half a day. Thank you reviewers! YES!! My Metal Slug Fanfic is out!! Wh00t!!

* * *

Emo: Well, that was really fun.

Risu: Yeah.

Emo: I'm gonna be bored at home. Do you have anime?

Risu: Not any new ones.

Emo: I don't care.

Risu: Okay. Can you voice sync with chimera-Tucker?

Emo: ... Sure.

Risu: Yay!

Emo: -smiles-


	6. The Return

Okay, first I would like to apologize for the looong wait. I would also like to point out that not everyone's dare will be in this chapter. Next chapter, I will post all the dares, along with the characters' pain and suffering. Dares submitted for this chapter will be add-ons for the reviewers who couldn't see their dare acted out.

Be excellent to each other…

Party on dudes!!!

**Emo: First dare! Whoot!**

ROFLOL. x3 This is awesome.

Tetra (T): Are you in love with Toon Link?

Toon Link (D): Make out with Tetra and then serenade Zelda from Twilight Princess. Tetra and TP Link have to both be watching.

Ganon: *tosses him assorted weapons and blue carrot launchers* Knock yourself out. ;D

Dreamnorn

**Tetra: -blushes- Well, uh… you see…**

**Risu: Oh come on. Tell us.**

**Tetra: … I really don't want to… It's…**

**Emo: What? Embarrassing?**

**Tetra: … partially.**

**Emo: Oh come on! –puts arm around T. Link's neck- We still love him! Why don't you.**

**Tetra: Emo, he's an elf… I'm a pirate.**

**Risu: Oh be nice to him… he's just a boy.**

**Emo: Yeah, and he just so happens to be a boy who's a perfect soprano!**

**T. Link: -glares-**

**Emo: … I'm being serious too.**

**Tetra: Yes… I'm in love.**

**Risu: There! Now was that so hard?**

**Tetra: -pukes-**

**Emo: Haha!**

**T. Link: What's the point of doing this?**

**Emo: You'll find out eventually.**

**T. Link: No! I wanna know now!**

**Risu: He's taking the fun out of it…**

**Emo: I agree… Link, as your employer, I command you to execute DARE F1-2 at this time!**

**T. Link: Alright, fine… -begins to serenade Zelda- (In reality, I've never heard an actual serenade)**

**Tetra: -glares- Now I'm pissed!!!**

**TP. Link: He's dead!!**

**TP Link and Tetra go after their preferable targets, TP Link going after T. Link and Tetra going after Zelda. Both targets were beaten to a quivering pulp.**

**Ganon: Ooh! A carrot launcher!**

**Emo: -grabs one- This may possibly be the greatest invention since the shotgun! Or the potato launcher!**

**Ganon: Haha! –begins launching carrots into walls, floors and out of favoritism, people-**

**Risu: Does he love carrots?**

**Emo: One could assume that.**

OMG EMO be nice to toon link! Funny chapter!

Vaati: I dare you to match mario.

Link: I dare you to challenge Ash (From pokemon... you probably knew that...) To a dule. Where you have to use a sword and Ash can use whatever he wants.

Emo: eat some of midna's cookies and then tell us if they're really made with alchohol.

This is from my friend Manny: Dark, go into a deep mood where you are overly whiney and very sad.

Toon Link: If you could start your adventure over again would you, even if you knew you'd leave Aryll behind to go adventuring which started PHantom Hourglass?

That's it!

AmazingZeldaFan09

**Vaati: Now I have to fight the smelly plumber… great…**

**Mario: Here we go! –throws a fireball at Vaati-**

**Vaati: Dammit! –dodges fireball and then shoots lightning at Mario-**

**Ganon: Vaati shoots lightning? I thought that was Aghanim's job…**

**Link: Nope, Vaati shoots lighting too.**

**Ganon: Really?**

**Link: Yes.**

**Mario: Wee! –tackles Vaati-**

**Vaati: Dammit, get off of me! –shoots more lightning, ending Mario's threat-**

**Emo: That was quick… and no fun… -slumps-**

**Risu: -pats his head-**

**Link: Ash? Are you (bleep)ing serious?!**

**Emo: Only of course.**

**Ash: I choose you, Pikachu!**

**Pikachu: Pika, chu.**

**Link & Risu: … what the Hell?**

**Link: I'm gonna end this quickly! –jumps over Pikachu and in front of Ash- Die!**

**Ash: Charizard, go!**

**Charizard: GRAWHH!!!**

**Link: (bleep)ing holy piece of (bleep), I'm getting the (bleep) outta here!**

**Ash: Charizard, fly!**

**Charizard: RARGH! –picks Link up by his shoulders with his feet/talons (okay, I forgot what his feet look like. Sue me)-**

**Link: Oh God, please don't hurt me!**

**Ash: Alright Charizard, I think he's had enough.**

**Charizard: -drops Link-**

**Emo: Ash, you may think he's had enough. –grabs shotgun- But I don't even think he's halfway reached his limit of sanity! Risu! Play the Mercenaries 2 theme song!**

**Risu: The full version?**

**Emo: Hell yeah! –music begins as he chases Link, blasting in Link's general direction-**

**Risu: I guess I'm in charge right now. Oh wait… Emo! This is for you!**

**Emo: -pouts- But my song isn't over yet…**

**Risu: -unplugs stereo- Oh, you'll get another chance eventually.**

**Emo: Fine… wait. I have to eat her cookies?**

**Risu: That's what it says squishy.**

**Emo: -freezes- Squishy?**

**Risu: Yup, that's your new name now.**

**Emo:… oh goodie… -picks up cookie- Should I really?**

**Link: Yes.**

**Ganon: Yes.**

**Malon: I honestly don't care.**

**Emo: Link, Ganon? I hate you two. Malon? Marry Link before Zelda marries, rapes, torture and kills him.**

**Malon: What?**

**Emo: -takes bite- Well, I'll say this about her pastries: They're very tart, I feel dizzy, and I have this sudden urge to dance to Micheal Jackson's "Thriller".**

**Risu: Don't.**

**Emo: Yes ma'am.**

**Risu: Okay Dark, it's time for yours.**

**Dark: I don't know how to do that.**

**Risu: Just do what Emo does daily.**

**Dark: Think about you?**

**Risu: No, wait. What?**

**Emo: -looks around rapidly- Uh… I have no idea what he's talking about!**

**Risu: Yeah, we'll talk about this later.**

**Ganon: He just needs the right motivation! –holds Ruto to Dark, and Ruto attempts to kiss him-**

**Dark: No! Why?! Why are you people so mean to me?! Oh Din, make it stop!**

**Zant: I think he's had enough.**

**Emo: Good. The thought of Dark and Ruto scares the crap out of me.**

**Toon: Yes, actually. My sister can take care of herself!**

**Emo: Uh, dude? –points behind Toon-**

**Toon: -turns around and squeals like a girl-**

**Aryll: So you'd leave me alone?!**

**Toon:Um, Aryll, it's not like that! We're still friends! AHH!!**

**Risu: Okay… moving on…**

AND RISU SITTING IN A TRE-DONT SHOOT ME!

I dare Zant to not bend backwards for an entire week, and then show off his flabby abs.

I dare Navi to take a sharp toothpick and go emo on herself.

I just wanna know. Emo...Tell me...I just wanna know...Are you and Risu dating?...If not then I dare Emo to make out with Risu's best friend(girl) right in front of her.

I dare Link to jump out of nowhere and kiss Risu on the lips. Then promptly run away like a little pansy.

I want this to happen SO bad. I dare Emo to hold a Ginormous Coloseum fight to the death match, ft. MASTER CHIEF. And I wanna see him jump in the air, about to pistol whip someone, then to be brained by ET on a flying bike, then promptly devoured by Ganon.

Now my final dare. I dare Link to explain to Zelda's father exactly HOW AND WHY he got zelda pregnant. Then try and make him want to keep it. Also same thing for Emo, but Risu and her dad. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

oh wait i forgot, I dare Toon link to explain to Tetra why she woke up one morning with a HUGE headache and no clothes.

*even more evil laughter*

~Quicktrigger

**Emo: Something tells me Zant's dare is damn near impossible.**

**Risu: Does he bend backwards all the time.**

**Emo: He is to bending backwards as Winry is to crying.**

**Risu: She's a whore.**

**Emo: I know, right?**

**Zant: Ugh… -stands still-**

**Emo: Too easy… next!**

**Navi: Toothpick? Human sized or fairy sized?**

**Emo: Just to kill you faster, human-sized. –gives her toothpick- Now get to work.**

**Navi: NO!**

**Emo:…**

**Navi: Why aren't you talking?**

**Emo:…**

**Navi: Listen to me! Talk now!**

**Emo:…**

**Navi: You don't like me!**

**Emo:…**

**Navi: -cries, then stabs herself with the toothpick-**

**Risu: Nice use of the silent treatment.**

**Emo:…**

**Risu: I will dismember you right now if you don't speak.**

**Emo: Sorry ma'am.**

**Risu: It's okay kitty… -scratches behind Emo's ear-**

**Emo: -purrs-**

**Risu: My kitty! –glomps Emo-**

**Emo:… And by the way, we date, just VERY OCCASIONALLY! I would date more often, but I've been broke for the past three months.**

**Risu: -blushes-**

**Emo: What?**

**Risu: Nothing. –smiles- Let's watch Link's utter failure.**

**Link: -leaps- Hi Ruto! –plants his lips against her's- Shit! RUN! –zooms away, then trips- Ugh…**

**Ruto: Link! You do love me! –glomps Link-**

**Link: Dammit! Not again!**

**Emo: Verdammnis…**

**Risu: Enough with the German!**

**Emo: Nein.**

**Risu: I will kill you.**

**Emo: Entschuldigung…**

**Risu: You're forgiven…**

**Emo: Yay!**

**-meanwhile, at the coliseum construction site-**

**Link: My money's on Master Chief.**

**D. Link: Whatever, my money's on the Emo-child.**

**Emo: I'm 16 bitch!**

**D. Link: I'm taller bastard!**

**Emo: So? –puts on bullet-proof vest- I'm good with knives.**

**D. Link: A knife ain't gonna do much against bio-mechanical armor.**

**Emo: -slips on flak jacket and adds knife holsters- Says you. You're just pissed you got owned by a hammer.**

**D. Link: It was a large hammer!**

**Emo: Pfft… -twirls knife by blade- See y'all later.**

**Link: Heheh, "y'all."**

**D. Link: -punches Link's face- Shut up!**

**Ganon: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, demented children of all ages! And especially the requestor, Heaven's Blade Hell's Gaunlet; located in Box 4, welcome to the 2****nd**** annual Deathmatch!**

**Crowd: -applause-**

**Ganon: In the red corner! A boy known for his dead-aiming eyesight and precision, also for his steel-wire arms, is the challenger for this week's deathmatch! Give it up for Emo AKA Twitchy the Pyro!**

**Crowd: Go kill him hobbit boy! Cut yourself! Burn in Hell, pipsqueak!**

**Emo: Argh!**

**Risu: -restrains Emo- Major, don't push yourself, save your energy for when you actually need it! Here's a Monster.**

**Emo: Yes! –gulps down the Monster in three seconds- WHEE!**

**Ganon: And in the blue corner! The savior of Earth and destroyer of the Covenant Armarda! A true killing machine, a man of steel, and a tactical genius…**

**Emo: And nobody acknowledges me…**

**Risu: -hugs him-**

**Ganon: Give it up for John 1-1-7 AKA Master Chief!**

**Crowd: -cheers wildly-**

**Emo: I feel so loved… -groans-**

**Ganon: On your mark! –turns, then sprints away- Fight!**

**John: Too slow! –fires rocket-**

**Emo: -ducks underneath and runs towards John- Doesn't work like that! –straps on bullet-proof helmet and mask-**

**John: Really? –lobs plasma grenade on Emo's helmet-**

**Emo: AH! –throws off helmet-**

**-BOOSH!-**

**John: Ha! –presses button, ground in front of Emo blows up, making Emo crash on his back-**

**Emo: Damn!**

**John: -leaps into the air and begins to fall toward Emo, then gets throttled upon by ET-**

**ET: -chuckles-**

**John: Ow… oh shi-**

**Ganon: -begins to eat John, John's arms flailing in the air as he screams his last breathes for help-**

**Link: I'm not saying anything…**

**Daphnes: You shall boy, or I'll send my guards after you… again… Emo help me out here…**

**Emo: Nah…**

**Daphnes: What did you say to me?!**

**Emo: I said no! How do you like that? NOOOoooo!!!**

**Daphnes: Very well, tackle him!**

**Link: Here we go- -is tackled by guards- …again… ow…**

**Risu: Wait, what?**

**Emo: Uh, what?**

**Link: aw, you do like each other!**

**Risu: I'm not pregnant! –whacks Link with a spear-**

**Emo: And I'm just a really close friend, I wouldn't do that!**

**T. Link: I don't wanna!**

**Tetra: Reading this paper explains a lot. I'm going to kill you! –strangles T. Link-**

**T. Link: Emo –gasp- help!**

**Emo: Nah… -cocks shotgun- I'll go hunting, the next dare shouldn't involve me.**

Too lazy to sighn in now, so anyways, here's more stuff for you!

Majora: become an anbu mask.  
Gaono: Who was your first kiss.  
Vatti: if you don like my curry, eat crap then! *that's a dare*  
Zelda: Is you realy pregnate?  
Zant: We are haveing a son, name it, and nothing stupid, or common!  
Link: ?Substitute for cloud in ffVII.  
Dark Link: aKill Risu's ct.  
risu: date every cast member, including the girls.  
Midna: havi i freaked you out yet?  
Ganon : substitute for my smart ass engirsh I class, we need a sub for tomottow. Mrs. D is gonna be out.  
Zant: Dude, where's my car.  
Any random goron: get high.\  
Eopna: mate with noishe? o_0  
Link: PE time for you!  
D. Link:wear pink hair extensions  
Vatti: why are you here.  
Navi: Really, just die, tinkerbell wanna be.  
Link: turn wolf, and star in a movie on wolves.  
Zelda: is the rumor that peach is a whore ture?  
Zant: we need milk, and eggs, could you pick soem up.

Albino Ninja Brandie

By the way, I'll only do some of these…

**Ganon: My first kiss? My mother.**

**Risu: Your real first kiss.**

**Ganon: Gerudo Guard number 21!**

**Risu: -sighs-**

**Vaati: Fine! I won't eat your curry. And for your information, I did like it. But whatever…**

**Zelda: Sadly… -glares at Link- …I'm not… Link can't reproduce…**

**Link: -sobs-**

**Ganon: You can always get with me!**

**Zelda: Hell no!**

**Link: Cloud? Can I use his sword?**

**Risu: Catch! –tosses it-**

**Link: -grabs the sword, then falls backwards and lands on his butt- Oww…**

**Ganon: Epona mating with Noishe? From Tales of Symphonia? I gotta see this! –watches- Oh, ew, never mind! ARGH!**

**Risu: How's the animal corruption?**

**Ganon: Shut up!**

**Risu: Time for yaoi!**

**Ganon: -girly scream-**

**Emo: I'm back… Risu? What are you doing to Ganon?**

**Risu: Corrupting him!**

**Ganon: -sobs, then closes eyes-**

**Risu: Wake up! –bitch-slaps Ganon- Now look at ArmstrongXGluttony!**

**Ganon: Holy shit!**

**Emo: Leave the poor man alo- -phone rings- Hold on. Hello? –walks away-**

**Ganon: -shakes in chair violently, reaching out for Emo- Don't leave me!!!**

**Risu: Heheh…**

Hooray for the reposting! No dares today...

Link:(T) In OoT, how come you never used a bottle on Navi to shut her up?

(Shoves fangirl army into a pit) Everyone:(T) Who would each of you most like to shove into this pit of doom (a fate worse than death)? You can proceed to push that one in if you wish!

Tetra:(T) Did your pirate crew ever meet the Black Pearl crew from Pirates of the Caribbean? You two crews would get along just fine...(sinister laugh)

Mask Salesman:(T) Why are are you always smiling? Even in Majora's Mask, when you are angrily shaking Link, it still looks like you're smiling!

Zelda:(T) How come you never bitchslapped Vaati or Ganon? I could totally imagine you doing that!

Now it's time to cause all hell to break loose here again! Let's think here...I know! (Feeds drugs to Navi and Midna) There we go!XD

Jackattack555

**Link: Because the programmers wouldn't allow it! I hated them because of that!**

**Emo: So did I. I couldn't make you stab yourself…**

**Link: Hey!**

**Emo: You know what? I'm shoving you in the fangirl pit! –pushes Link-**

**Link: AH! They're like zombies! AHHAAAA!!!!! –flesh tearing sounds-**

**Emo:…. Ew……. That's gross……**

**Risu: -pales-**

**Emo: -hugs her- Look away, look away…**

**Tetra: As a matter of fact, we did. And we fought each other too. It was fun! We looted all their gold, only gold is worthless here in Hyrule, or the Great Sea, wherever we are…**

**Salesman:…**

**Emo: I think he's insane…**

**Risu: Obviously…**

**Zelda: Why didn't I? Thank you Jackattack555. –slaps Vaati, then looks at Ganon-**

**Ganon: Oh… hello… -smiles-**

**Zelda: -slaps him across the face-**

**Emo: Wait, drugs?! Get down! –dives behind sandbags-**

**Midna: Wee! –zaps random areas-**

**Navi: -flies into walls and floor-**

**Risu: Could this get any worse?**

**Emo: I don't know! Let's read the next dare!**

Okay, I've got a few questions before I get to the dares, PE.

1) Why did you delete the old one? If you didn't, then how did it get deleted?

2) WHY CAN'T WE DARE YOU OR RISU?...I had fun daring you guys. T.T

3) Would you and Risu PLEASE check out my new Truth or Dare fic? You can get revenge on me for that battle-to-the-death, if you'd like.

And now for the dares.

I dare Navi to switch places with Tinkerbell from Peter Pan and vice versa for the rest of the chapter.

I dare you all to grow muttonchops and mullets. (save for the co-authors...wimps)

I dare Ruto to stand up against a wall while I blow her up with the BIG FCKIN' GUN 9001.

Keybladeboy

**Emo's response:**

**1) I didn't delete the old. It was possibly hacked or something. This isn't something I would EVER delete.**

**2) Oh you can give us dares, just nothing "inappropriate."**

**3) I already read your Zelda T&D, but I haven't gotten any alerts. I'll see if I added yours.**

**Navi: Yay! Peter! –flies to Neverland-**

**Tinkerbell: …**

**Emo: Yes! A fairy that doesn't talk! Celebrate!!! And I pretty much have a mullet you crazy person.**

**Risu: Kitty, be nice to the reviewer.**

**Emo: Fine, sorry keybladeboy… ugh…**

**Ruto: What?!**

**Reviwer: DIE!!!! –blasts Ruto-**

**Emo: Nice mess.**

**Reviewer: Thank you.**

A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait, I hope you review. The next update shouldn't take another 2 months. Thanks for reading!!! If you're review didn't show up for this, it will be added next chapter!


	7. Still recovering Darn recession

**Twitchy: Let's get started off right!**

Dude ausome fanfic, and I have some truthes.  
Zelda: did you ever sleep with ganon or vaati or did they rape you.  
Link: who do you like more, zelda or Malon? and also wouldn't it be easier when fighting dark link to just say Ruto I love you and hiding while Ruto got Dark link. disco kirby (-.-)  
ganondork: what would happen if Navi went hyper in the earths core?  
Vaati: did you ever wonder what would happen if you were good?  
Emo: what would happen if you guys were nice to the cast? would it end the world.  
Dark Link: why do you hate Ruto, you're links opposite so you should like her.  
now for the dares. (evil laughter)  
allow the ancients from final fantasy to destroy all of the cast before you revive them.  
Emo & Risu: (hands them both a deathnote) I'm cranky because of highschool so kill ganon, vaati, Belum, tingle, and navi for me. why? because they god * frieken * me off.  
Link: fight Dark link again and use the same thing I just told you.  
Everyone: fight in mortal kombat against the earth realm. (See the movie on youtube or rent it)  
Emo: Allow my armies I use to destroy my enemies in my book I'm writing to kill them all. except for Risu  
And guys, you should read Keybladeboys truth or dare, it is frieken hilarious. and also, where do I find Risu's fanfics.  
see ya later dead hylians, faries and evil bosses

Hero of Creation

**Zelda: Well, they didn't do anything to me really… they weren't that interested in me.**

**Twitchy: Uh huh, yeah… I believe you…**

**Ganon: She was drugged…**

**Zelda & Twitchy: What?!**

**Vaati: -tackles Ganon- He's kidding!**

**Twitchy: … -taps hand with stun baton- Ganon… I know you'd never lie to me. Was she drugged?**

**Ganon: Well, you see, Vaati suggested—**

**Twitchy: Ganon!**

**Ganon: ALRIGHT! I DRUGGED HER! BUT I'M SORRY!! I REPENT! REPENT! REPEEENT!**

**Twitchy: See? He's sorry. Zelda? Oh no.**

**Zelda: -stalks angrily towards Vaati and Ganon, Twitchy's shotgun in her hand-**

**Twitchy: -grabs Zelda's ankles in an attempt to stop her, but is continuously dragged along the floor as Zelda gets ever closer to her prey- No Zelda! Forgive them for they don't know what they're doing!**

**Zelda: -stomps on Twitchy's head with her high-heel- Don't go Jesus on me!**

**Twitchy: -twitches- Ow…**

**Zelda: -aims at Vaati-**

**Vaati: Wait! I can- -BOOM!-**

**Ganon: No! It was his id- -BOOM!-**

**Twitchy: Holy (bleep!)**

**Link: -reads paper- I liked Zelda, but as stated in previous chapters, I didn't really like her because she never rewarded me for rescuing her.**

**Zelda: You never asked!**

**Link: I don't care! Anyway, I think I'm better off with Malon anyway… she gave me a horse for free.**

**Malon: -hugs Link-**

**Link: And she hugs me! –smiles- And yes, it would be easier. I hope I get to test it out.**

**Twitchy: Hey Ganon, you got a question… Ganon? Ugh… -revives Ganon- Science question.**

**Ganon: -puts on lab coat and spectacles- (German accent) What is the question?**

**Twitchy: "What would happen if Navi went hyper in the earth's core?"**

**Ganon: … we would all die… you know, kablooey.**

**Twitchy: … that's it? No scientific explanation?**

**Ganon: What's there to explain?**

**Twitchy: -leaps on desk and aims shotgun at Ganon's face- God (bleep!) it! These people need an education, and you're going to be the one who provides it. Why? Because I freak'in said so!**

**Ganon: -silent- … screw- -BOOM!-**

**Twitchy: There, problem solved, let's go. –revives Vaati- Read your dare…**

**Vaati: I'd be saving Hylians and Minish rather than killing them… that's all I see…**

**Twitchy: Eh, next…**

**Risu: -comes in through front door-**

**Twitchy: Oh my god! –glomps Risu-**

**Risu: Ah! –drops keys into Twitchy's foot-**

**Twitchy: Ow (bleep!)**

**Risu: -slaps him-**

**Twitchy: Ow… grr…**

**Risu: -pats head- Good boy.**

**Twitchy: … bark.**

**Risu: -laughs- Hey, you have a dare.**

**Twitchy: Actually, it's a truth.**

**Risu: Oh? –reads- Nice to the cast? That would never happen… ever…**

**Ganon: Dang it! –appears in front of Risu and points- YOU NEVER PAY US!!!**

**Risu: That's beside the point. You're now a circus freak.**

**Ganon: … Circus freak? –whines-**

**Risu: That's right. A comedial performer. You're our personal slave and will do what we say for the general public's entertainment.**

**Dark Link: That's a load of-**

**Twitchy: You too!**

**Dark Link: -shuts up-**

**Twitchy: -makes a hand motion-**

**Risu: -responds-**

**Dark Link: … What are you guys saying?**

**Twitchy & Risu: -continue signaling each other-**

**Dark Link: Grr… -reads paper- No… that's the only thing I have in common with that gay bastard.**

**Twitchy: I thought you were gay and he was straight.**

**Ganon: Huh, I remember both of them being gay.**

**Ruto: Or maybe Fierce Deity is straight, Dark Link is gay and Link is bi.**

**Link:… I'm going back to my emo-corner…**

**Twitchy: Time for dares! –pulls rope, bell sounds and large doors open-**

**Ganon: Oh shi-**

**-ancients from final fantasy begin attacking all of cast, and Twitchy and Risu seem to be ignored-**

**Twitchy: It's fun being the writer.**

**Risu: It's also fun being the director.**

**Twitchy: I'm the director. You're the co-director.**

**Risu: Whatever… Oohh, deathnotes.**

**Twitchy: Thanks.**

**Hero of Creation: No prob.**

**Twitchy: -grabs ink pen- Oh God… um… -writes down Ganon-**

**Ganon: -walks towards Twitchy- Hey uh, boss? Can I-**

**-light falls from ceiling and crashes on Ganon's head-**

**Twitchy: Hey, they do work!**

**Risu: -looks down from catwalk- My bad!**

**Twitchy: … I didn't write that in but okay.**

**Risu: -writes for Vaati-**

**Vaati: -walks to catwalk- Hey Risu, give me some skin man! –holds hand up-**

**Risu: -writes more-**

**Vaati: -bar falls from ceiling on one end and swings over to hit Vaati's hand, making him stumble over the rail of the catwalk and fall on Belum-**

**Twitchy: This is so cool! Risu, let me do Tingle!**

**Risu: Fine!**

**Twitchy: -writes for Tingle-**

**OUTSIDE**

**Tingle: -balloon activates- Wha? No! Turn off! –goes ½ of a mile high- Oh no- -is hit by a plane propeller-**

**Twitchy: -looks up- EPIC!**

**Navi: Hey! –flies and lands on stump next to Twitchy- What about-**

**Twitchy: -slams hammer on Navi, then uses a blowtorch and finally throws the stump in a garbage disposal truck and activates it- I didn't have to write that now did I?**

**Risu: I did!**

**Twitchy: Oh sure, ruin my creativity why don't you?!**

**Risu: Sure.**

**Link: Whoa! –dodges Dark Link's sudden attack-**

**Dark Link: Die!!! –swings again-**

**Link: Ruto, I love you! –hides from both Dark Link and Ruto-**

**Ruto: -runs in front of Dark Link- Link I-**

**Dark Link: SHUT UP!!! –cuts her vertically in half-**

**Twitchy: -drops pop-tart he was previously munching on- Holy (bleep!)**

**Risu: Hey, you have a request.**

**Twitchy: Really? On screen!**

**ALLOW MY ARMIES I USE TO DESTROY MY ENEMIES IN MY BOOK I'M WRITING TO KILL THEM ALL. EXCEPT FOR RISU.**

**Twitchy: Aw, you have an admirer.**

**Risu: -punches him-**

**Twitchy: Ow… by all means "Hero," go ahead.**

**Hero of Creation: Charge! –army charges towards cast-**

**Ganon: Never surren- -pike impales chest- Son of a (bleep!) –drops dead-**

**Link: -pulls out bow and aims at enemies attacking Malon- I will save her, and she will be my bestest friend for- -is whacked by hilt of a sword, then fires arrow and accidentally hits Malon-**

**Twitchy: Epic fail!**

ok  
Link:i dare u 2 propose 2 ruto  
Ruot:since this will probably kill u i dare u 2 reject Link then u must propose 2 ganondorf  
Ganondorf:i dare u 2 accept & no divorices eva  
Master Sword 41

**Link: Ruto…**

**Twitchy: Oh my God he's doing it! –yanks out hair-**

**Risu: She'll reject him. And quit that, you don't look good bald.**

**Link: Will you… marry me? –holds out ring-**

**Ruto: No.**

**Audience: -gasps-**

**Twitchy: Ouch that's cold!**

**Ruto: I'm going to marry Ganon…**

**Ganon: -slurps in spaghetti with his sudden intake of breath-**

**Ruto: And we're going to be happy together. Good bye Link.**

**Link: -begins crying- Wait, why am I crying? –fangirls rush to him- I got these girls after all.**

**Twitchy: Oh my God, he's a womanizer and I didn't even know it!**

**Ruto: Ganon, will you marry me?**

**Ganon: -eyes Ruto as spaghetti hangs from inside his mouth- Hmm… sure. I accept!**

**Ruto: Ya- -is sawed in half by Ganon's sword-**

**Twitchy: You broke the Law of Truth and Dare!**

**Ganon: No I didn't! The dare said to "accept & no divorcies eva." It never said I couldn't kill her.**

**Risu: That's beside the point.**

**Ganon: No, that's on the-**

**Risu: -kicks Ganon's groin-**

**Ganon: -doubles over- You win…**

**Risu: Mm Hmm…**

**Twitchy: Ain't that the truth of it all?**

Okay, this looks pretty good.

Midna: Marry Link forever.

Link: Have some "fun" with your new wife.

Zant: Chug as many beers as you possibly can, then run into the middle of an NFL game while naked.

Ganondorf: Destroy the sword you had in Twilight Princess.

Zelda: Why can't you ever do anything useful?

Saria: How old are you?

Malon: I am now going to use my shotgun and kill Epona in front of you. You are not going to do anything if you want to live.

Darunia: Use holy hand grenades on Vaati, Ganondorf, and Navi.

Tingle: Float as high as you possibly can on your balloon.

Risu: Pop his balloon when he reaches maximum height.

Ruto: You need to be tied to a pole while everyone throws a random assortment of food and sharp objects at you.

Midna: Tear off either Riku's or Emo's leg and use it to beat them senseless with it.

Well I guess that's all for now. This is pretty good.

Super Dragon

**Midna: Yay! –glomps Link-**

**Link: (bleep!) What the (bleep!)**

**Twitchy: Okay, kinky material, go!**

**Link: Yes! –goes into bedroom with Midna and locks door-**

**Midna: -screams-**

**Twitchy: Whoa! Wrong! Ew!**

**Risu: -strokes Twitchy's cheek-**

**Twitchy: Ah no!**

**Risu: -laughs-**

**Zant: Yeah boy! –begins chugging beers-**

**Twitchy: Epic fail…**

**Zant: Seven!**

**Risu: Geez, that's gross.**

**Zant: Twenty four!**

**Twitchy: I wish I could drink beer!**

**Risu: -slaps him-**

**Twitchy: Ow!**

**Risu: -hugs him-**

**Twitchy: (No expression) … you can get off now…**

**Risu: No…**

**Zant: -begins to strip in hallway-**

**Twitchy: Oh my god, create a blur!**

**-the sun creates a light over Zant, making him visible but invisible-**

**Twitchy: Hey it worked…**

**Zant: Yeah!**

**Football player #24: Yargh! –tackles Zant-**

**Audience: Oh!**

**Risu: That's just weird…**

**Twitchy: Ain't that the truth?**

**Ganon: You act this sword is important to me. Ha! –shoots magic at sword, and sword doesn't break- Huh?**

**Risu: There's a reason it's dare for you: It won't really break…**

**Ganon: Grr… -uses every spell available and can't break the sword- I can't do it.**

**Twitchy: Here… -squeezes the hilt and the sword shatters-**

**Ganon: … What the-?**

**Zelda: I can't do anything useful because I'm always locked in a castle.**

**Twitchy: Last I checked, you could use magic to escape.**

**Zelda: Well, Miyamoto made me useless!**

**Risu: We still love you!**

**Zelda: Really?**

**Risu: …no! –uses alchemy to make a spike launch from the floor and into Zelda-**

**Twitchy: Yay!**

**Saria: I'm 34 year old.**

**Twitchy: Really?**

**Risu: You're still mine…**

**Twitchy: … Really?**

**Risu: -glomps Twitchy-**

**Twitchy: Grr… -hands Super Dragon his shotgun-**

**Super Dragon: Yes! –aims at Epona-**

**Malon: No! –guards Epona-**

**Hero of Creation: -shoots Malon, and the bullets also hit Epona-**

**Twitchy: Hey, we got a clairvoyant! Kick… -looks at a glaring Risu- butt…**

**Risu: Good boy. –shoves cookie in Twitchy's mouth-**

**Twitchy: …**

**Midna: Aw yeah! –grabs Twitchy's leg-**

**Twitchy: Huh OH MY GOD! AH! MY LEG!!! OH DEAR GOD!!!! OW! STOP IT! MAKE IT STOP! OH JESUS DELIVER ME!!! BLEGH!!! –WHEEZES, THEN DIES-**

I'm officially laughing really hard, especially after reading my submission from a long time ago. ^^; Blue carrot launchers STILL rule!

I only have one truth and dare this time, so let us torture-- err, *cough* have fun with these characters, no?

Aryll (T): If you got your hands on the Triforce of Power, what would you do with it? Is it true that you will establish an evil army of seagulls and dominate the world?

Four Sword Links (D): Do a quartet (like in old style barber shops) in front of the entire populace of Hyrule Castle Town, including King Daphnes.

Dreamnorn

**Aryll: Yes! Yes I would! I would love that!**

**Twitchy: Too bad I have it…**

**Aryll: No! Mine!**

**Twitchy: -lights her on fire- SHUT UP!**

**Risu: You're so mean!**

**Twitchy: Oh well. –places finger on top of Aryll's head to hold her still, then punts her through a window-**

**Four Links: One two three go!**

**(-THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM WAS NOT CREATED OR IS OWNED BY ME. THE ARTIST IS THE TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA, AND THE SONG IS MIDNIGHT. I AM NOT AFFILIATED WITH TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA OR THEIR ALLIES IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM-)**

**Green: And in the dark, he sits alone,**

**Blue: And all have long since,**

**Blue& Red: Lost their,**

**B, R &Purple: Meaning! –hold half note-**

**(PLEASE LOOK AT SONG FOR REST. YOU'LL GET THE IMAGE IF YOU LISTEN TO IT! SORRY!**

**Daphnes: You crazy kids! –grabs scepter-**

**Four Links: Holy (bleep!) Run away!**

**Twitchy: … Well that was short lived…**

Man, it feels like it's been forever since I've sent any dares in instead of writing that new chapter. I need a break. And...HOORAY! This is back! *happy dance*

Twitchy and Risu: Draw up a contract in which my OC, Batter the Waffle, will be the star in a movie. (Don't tell him, but the movie is going to involve him being eaten in every scene. Also, he isn't the star, he's just an extra. PISS HIM OFF!)

Malon: I dare you to sell every horse you currently own to a glue factory.

Twitchy and Risu (again): I dare you both to fight me and my other OC, Xalin, in a 2-on-2 deathmatch. Xalin is really, really into anything sharp, and I'm into using my god-like Author Powers. (You should probably tone those down, or something.)

Link: I dare you to run for your life. *releases an Indiana Jones style rolling boulder trap*

All girls: I dare you all to have a MASSIVE CATFIGHT! *gets a filming crew*

Dark Link: I dare you to roleplay as James Bond with a harem of Gerudo thieves as your leading ladies. Also, Ganondorf has to play Dr. No.

Keybladeboy

**Twitchy: Batter the Waffle?**

**Risu: Who the Hell?**

**Batter: Sup guys?**

**Twitchy: …**

**Risu: …**

**Link: Squishy! –glomps Batter-**

**Batter: Geroff!**

**Link: Oh my God, real waffle! –chomp!-**

**Batter: AH! GET OFF!**

**Link: (mouth full) But you taste so good!**

**Risu: That's what she said.**

**Twitchy: -slaps own face-**

**Malon: But I don't want to do that! I love my horses.**

**Twitchy: You will obey the Law of Truth and Dare!**

**Malon: But… but…**

**Twitchy: Do it! –grabs shotgun-**

**Malon: WHAA!! –begins filling out contract-**

**Twitchy: Oh it's good being me…**

**Dark Link: Now you two have to fight the weird author guy and his OC.**

**Twitchy: I'm ready! Bring-**

**Xalin: -SHING!-**

**Twitchy: … it. –splits in half- -Twitchy the Pyro has left the game-**

**Keybladeboy: Ha! Easy!**

**Xalin: Shut up…**

**Keybladeboy: Oh Xalin…**

**Risu: -transmutes javelin from the ground and throws it at Keybladeboy, who dodges narrowly-**

**Xalin: …**

**Keybladeboy: Xalin! Do something! –continues dodging mass-produced flying spears-**

**Xalin: Nope, you're on your own. –Xalin has left the game-**

**Keybladeboy: Huh? Aw (bleep!). –is it by spear- -Keybladeboy has left the game-**

**Twitchy: -Twitchy the Pyro has reentered the game- Oh my gosh I'm alive! Wait. You won? –looks at Risu-**

**Link: -hugs Twitchy- Yeah she did.**

**Twitchy: -eyes Link- Who you think you is?**

**Link: Uh…**

**Twitchy: I'm the pyroboy (bleep!)! And from the words of Keybladeboy… run for your life.**

**Link: huh? –sees oncoming boulder- Oh crap! –begins to run- Oh God oh God oh God oh my God! –dives into turn, and boulder rolls down original path- Whew. Little Resident Evil moment… Oh my God giant spider! NO! AHH! RAPE!!!! AH HA HAA!! OOH! AAAAHHH!!**

**Twitchy: -shoots Link- SHUT UP!**

**Zelda: Saria, I just want to let you know that Link is mine!**

**Saria: Uh-uh! He's been mine since we were kids.**

**Malon: You still are a kid!**

**Zelda: Stay out of this you peasant girl!**

**Malon: Excuse me? –grabs pitchfork-**

**Saria: -rips branch off of tree- Bring it girls! –whacks Zelda-**

**Malon: -stabs Saria's foot-**

**Saria: -reflexively bitchslaps Malon across the face-**

**Twitchy: This is hot!**

**Dark Link: No (bleep!) man…**

**Twitchy: … are you high?**

**Dark Link: Why?**

**Twitchy: … Dark…**

**Dark Link: … Shh…!**

**Twitchy: Uh huh… Oh my God, you have a dare!**

**Dark Link: -reads review- Hell yeah man! –puts on shades and tux- Well?**

**Twitchy: -punches shades- Lose the shades…**

**Dark Link: The name's Link… Dark Link…**

**Twitchy: -slaps own head… again-**

**Ganon: -reads script- I don't get it… I can't find my lines. No, I don't see them… Blargh! –is shot by Dark Link multiple times-**

**Dark Link: Ha! Pwned (bleep!)! I win! Oh, T-bag, T-bag!**

**Ganon: -kicks Dark Link- Get the (bleep!) off me!**

YAY! Now...*sinister laugh of EVIL* it's time fo' some real dares!

(D) Risu-I dare you...hm...tie Twitchy to a chair and make him watch you put out a fire.

(T) Twitchy-Yeah, right. I bet you think about doing THAT to Risu ALL the time, buddy. AND I DARE YOU TO ADMIT IT! And, if you don't, rabid-fangirl pit for you. And you also have to have the blood of the most famous of anime characters on you, if you don't admit it. HAHAHAHAHHAHA!

(T) I just want to know. Link, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU A PANSY?! I mean, every game I see you in, except for the beginning of TP, your in A FREAKIN DRESS!

(T) Link can't reproduce? Weird. Anyways, Zelda, if you had to choose, would you rather have your uteruses ripped out or have a zombie baby claw its way out of your belleh? The answer will then proceed.

(D) I dare the Din to burn Twitchy. I wanna see if he likes it...

AND, ULTIMATE DARE TIME!-Ruto and Navi have to be given the following, then locked in a closet full of Drugged gerudo guards-The following given to the two insane people-Ecstasy, alchohol, viagra, fish sticks, pixie-on-a-stick, and a whopping pound of speed.

And, last question, WHAT IS ALL OF YOUR PREFERABLE MUSIC?! I just asking...Link seems like a 'Dope' kind of guy...

Heaven's Blade Hell's Gauntlet

**Risu: Hey Twitchy…**

**Twitchy: What?**

**Risu: Happy Valentine's Day! –points to fire-**

**Twitchy: Oh my- -is whacked in the head by Risu, then tied to a chair- Ow… wait, what are you doing?**

**Risu: -evil grin, holds pitcher of water above fire-**

**Twitchy: No! Not the fire! What did he ever do to you? No!!!**

**Risu: -slowly pours water on fire-**

**Twitchy: -begins to spaz in chair- No! Stop! Oh God stop! Make it stop! –twitches wildly- No no no NNOO!!!! Blebebebebebeb….. ugh…**

**Risu: -dumps water completely on fire-**

**-death groans, then drools-**

**Link: Oh my God you friggin killed him man! On Valentine's Day!**

**Risu: He'll wake up. Oh, he'll love this… -hangs paper in front of Twitchy's face-**

**Twitchy: … uh? –reads paper- Okay, for the last (bleep!)ing time, I don't even think about that for anyone. I'll admit that I'll be tempted for a few seconds every other day, but that's as far as I'll go. I speak the truth!**

**Ganon & Link: FANGIRL PITTT!!!! –pushes Twitchy in-**

**Twitchy: Betrayal! –burns fangirls, then climbs out- Grr…**

**Ganon & Link: -awestruck expression-**

**Link: -girly scream as Twitchy chases him with a shotgun-**

**Risu: Which brings us to the next question. Link.**

**Link: I'm a pansy because I'm under appreciated as a hero… you guys lowered my self-esteem. And it's not a dress, it's a tunic for Din's sake!**

**Twitchy: It's a dress.**

**Link: Shut up no it's not!**

**Twitchy: Moving on. Zelda, choose one: ripped out fetus or zombie child?**

**Zelda: Fetus ripped, no contest.**

**Twitchy: Hmm… Hunter!**

**Zelda: Huh?**

**-hunter from Left 4 Dead appears and begins clawing away at Zelda-**

**Zelda: Ow! Get, get it off! Get off me!**

**Risu: That's what she-**

**Twitchy: -tackles Risu- Quiet!**

**Ganon: -turns to Link- Okay, while they're having a lover's quarrel, let's summon Din for the next dare.**

**Link: Ooh, yes!**

**Ganon: Oh Din! I summon you to cast down your wrath upon this sinner!**

**D. Link: Preach brother!**

**Ganon: And I request that you recognize those in-**

**Zelda: Give it a rest and burn him!**

**Ganon: Right! –blows random trumpet-**

**-A STAR APPEARS FROM OUT OF THE SKY, ONLY TO BE RECOGNIZED AS A BRIGHT FLAMING BIRD, AND IT FLIES STRAIGHT TOWARDS TWITCHY. IT EVENTUALLY BURNS TWITCHY-**

**Twitchy: Oh my God! So warm! Aw… This feels so good! BRING THE PAIN MAN! BRING IT ALL ON!!!**

**Ganon: I think he's insane…**

**Link: No (bleep)ing duh.**

**Twitchy: -comes out in newly-burned suit- Hello. It is now time for Ultimate Dare Time, with me as your host, Twitchy the Pyro. And now, it would appear that we have a challenge before us. We must give Ruto and Navi the following items and throw them in a closet filled with drugged Gerudos. But due to time issues, I'll fast forward to the results Oh dear Din explicit material! Bob, abort!**

**Bob: I'm trying!!!**

**Twitchy: Go back to the original program!**

**Bob: Got it!**

**Twitchy: Okay… whew…**

**Risu: What is all your preferable music? Lightning round, go! Techno!**

**Twitchy: Heavy metal.**

**Ganon: Death metal.**

**Ruto: Dance.**

**Navi: Orchestral.**

**Twitchy: ew…**

**Navi: Shut up.**

**Malon: Country.**

**Zelda: Orchestral.**

**Twitchy: You all suck!**

**Risu: Hey!**

**Twitchy: You're cool.**

* * *

_Twitchy: That was fun… -collapses as soon as he enters front door- Well guys, I'm glad you read this. Stay tuned and please submit dares ASAP so I don't get late entries. And Hero of Creation asked for Risu's fics. You can find them under the author name of ChouAoi. Thanks again! I understand that I haven't published everyone's dares, and I apologize and have made a note so that I can put them in later chapters._


	8. A New Friend

_A/N: Hello fans! I am Kadex, previously known as Twitchy the Pyro and Pyromaniacal Emo, and the temporary two-week name Duke of Paranoia._

_Welcome!_

_This is only apiece of my back to school fiction pack. Change is coming to the world fanfiction. Breathe it in. Bathe in it's scent. Bottle it up and save some for later! Change is great._

_Enough with the rambling! On with the show!_

* * *

**Kadex: -rubs hand together while laughing evilly-**

**Link: What's up with him Risu?**

**Risu: Who knows? Probably plotting to create a zombie virus… again.**

**Ganon: Again?**

**Risu: Oh don't tell me you haven't seen his underground lab. He's been working on it for months. That's one of the reasons why I haven't been able to see him so we could get this chapter written.**

**Ganon: The other part?**

**Risu: He's been moody. He complains about not getting a job and not being able to play a good poker game.**

**Ganon: Ah.**

**Kadex: Risu! Run the show! I'll be right back. The spotlight's yours today.**

**Risu: Uhh… what?**

**Kadex: -slams door-**

* * *

_HAHAHA! Link, "I'm going back to my emo-corner now."_

_anyways.. I love this._

_Link: GO out with my junior High Bitchy friend, She won't shut up and, as I said. She's a bitch. anyways... yeah do that._

_Risu: Aren't you the one who had written the Twilight Truth or Dare? If you are did you delete it cause I can't find it..._

_Dark Link: If you could would you join Bellum's side and then what would you do when you've captured Tetra (In stone form) Would you either  
A: Break her into stoney bits  
B: Through her overboard  
C: paint a mustach on her face  
D: Other_

_Zelda: Dress Like Link and make Ruto believe you're him then go and tell her that you love her._

_Vaatii: ROK ON! (can't believed you drugged Zelda..lol) What's the most scariest carnival ride for you? Whatever it is I dare you to ride it until you die or become very twitchy and a little phsyco._

_~AmazingZeldaFan09_

* * *

**Risu: Go on Link! Go boy.**

**Link: I'm not a dog!**

**Risu: You want the payment or not?**

**Link: Payment?**

**Risu: Yep.**

**Link: You're not paying me!**

**Risu: Yes I am. Kadex told me to.**

**Link: Well, I won't make up my mind unless I know what I'm being paid.**

**Risu: Twenty cookies.**

**Link: I'm in! –runs after JHBF-**

**Risu: He'll be back. And yes, I am the one who wrote the Twilight Truth or Dare. And no, I didn't delete it. IT should be there.**

**Dark Link: Ha! I'd smash her into tiny bits! She's a pirate, and nobody cares about pirates! Not even other pirates!**

**Risu: Uh-huh… Zelda? Do you-**

**Zelda: -sighs- Yes… I do… -puts on outfit- How do I look?**

**Risu: Just like Link.**

**Zelda: Oh… great… -walks to Ruto and speaks in an overly deep voice- Ruto, it's Link.**

**Ruto: -eyes light up- Link!**

**Zelda: Yes. I wanted to say that I love you. –silently gags-**

**Ruto: I knew you would choose me over that whore Zelda!**

**Zelda: (grr…)**

**Ruto: Do you think she would care?**

**Zelda: Umm… I don't know… I gotta go!**

**Ruto: Promise to write me!**

**Vaati: Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Roller coasters!**

**Risu: Yes…**

**Vaati: Which one am I riding?**

**Risu: Which one do you feaer the most! –growls towards the end-**

**Vaati: -shifts eyes- Uh… the Volcano?**

**Risu: Then your riding the Volcano.**

**Vaati: What?!**

**Risu: -pushes Vaati on the roller coaster and straps him in-**

**Vaati: NO! PLEASE! I'LL DO –Ding!- ANYYYYYTHIIIIING!**

**Risu: We'll wait awhile…**

* * *

_-intermission begins-_

**Risu: -dials on cell phone- Kadex, where are you? I'm only through the first dare and I'm already losing my mind.**

**Kadex: You lost your mind long ago. Anyways, I'm sending someone over to give you a hand.**

**Risu: Who is-**

**KABOOM! –the door falls down with a thud as smoke enters from the doorway. A large figure enters the room, hissing through it's gas mask-**

**???: I am sent from Kadex!**

**Risu: Uh… right… who are you exactly?**

**???: Oh, right… -removes gas mask-**

**Risu: Mocha!!**

**Mocha: Yep. I'm here to help out.**

**Risu: Cool. Hey, can you help me with the next dare? I can't do this alone.**

**Mocha: Kadex commanded me, so it must be done.**

_-intermission ends-_

* * *

_Nice now it's my turn muahahahahahahaha_

_I'm Evil so yeah._

_All the LOZ characters: Give your diaries to... the Authors (DUN DUN DUN!) and let them read it! Either that or give 12 embarrassing facts about yourselves if you don't do Either of them these dares you will all DIE FROM MY SUPER-AWESOME SPACE LAZAH XD._

_Vaati: your a douche! FALCON PAWNCH!_

_Link, I HAVE A MESSAGE! READ IT: FALCON PAWNCH! (punches link setting him on fire)_

_Ridere(thats me the dude behind this review): (sounded puerto reican) THEZS EZ POUERTO REICO! (kicks ruto into the pits of hell)._

_ALL THE LOZ CHARACTERS: fight , wolf (from star fox), solid snake and ike to the death! they have unlimited uses of their final smash and they are already pwning you guy before I even finish this dare in the most cliche' fashion!_

_Both authors: FIGHT EVERY SINGLE DARN VIDEO GAME CHARACTER IN HISTORY INCLUDING BARNEY!_

_well that's all  
LOL  
From  
uhh...pluto?  
(in the most smallest text so small not even I can read it)_

_~Ridere93_

* * *

**Mocha: This shouldn't be too hard. –grabs megaphone- Please turn in all diaries to Risu and myself!!**

**T. Link: Hey, where's Kadex?**

**Risu: Not here. –creates sceptar from alchemy- Your diary! Now!**

**T. Link: It's a journal!**

**Risu: -points weapon at T. Link and growls- HAND IT OVER!**

**T. Link: AH! I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me! I won't do anything bad again! I'm sorry!**

**Risu: Good. –takes journal-**

**Mocha: I'll go first. –clears throat- From Ganon's diary, this was written on July 3rd. It says…**

**Ganon: Oh no…**

**Mocha: "… The Fourth of July dance is tomorrow. I really want to ask Link, but I also want to ask Zelda. But she'll turn me down if I ask her, but I'll be the laughing stock of the villian kingdom if I give up capturing Zelda for asking out Link. Hmm… what to do…"**

**Link: -stares-**

**Zelda: -stares-**

**Risu: My turn?**

**Mocha: -nods-**

**Risu: Okay. From Midna's diary… eh? Sorry… cookbook? Um… -hands it to Mocha-**

**Mocha: What? –reads contents before raising an eyebrow- Okay then, that will not be read aloud…**

**Risu: Right. What's next. Okay, Vaati just got F. Punched… Ruto got kicked into the pits of Hell (good riddance) and the LOZ characters are being pwned.**

**Link: My leg!**

**Ganon: Keep fighting! –is destroyed by Snake's Grenade launcher and Wolf's Landmaster Tank-**

**Mocha: Oh, and you and I have to fight all the characters in history.**

**Kadex: No Mocha, that will not be necessary. –walks in from door that Mocha DESTROYED earlier-**

**Risu: You're back! –glomps Kadex to the ground-**

**Kadex: -strains- Yes… I'm back for three seconds and I already have a broken limb…**

**Risu: Whre were you?**

**Mocha: Uh… guys?**

**Kadex: The store…**

**Risu: Getting what?**

**Mocha: Mocha sees a problem… with guns…**

**Kadex: Something special…**

**Mocha: Guys!**

**Kadex and Risu: What?! –eyes widen before they stand next to Mocha-**

**Kadex: -looks at Mocha- You think we can take them?**

**Mocha: -replaces gas mask with metal asylum mask- Just like old times! –grabs M134 Chain Gun and laughs maniacally while mowing down game characters-**

**Kadex: Let's go! –jumps up in the air before slamming sniper rifle-s bayonet in Dom's face-**

**Risu: -throws spear into the Arbiter's chest before transmuting a sword and attacking Master Chief-**

**Mocha: -is thrown down by Marcus Fenix but shoots Marcus' face before shooting several Nazi soldiers-**

_-several hours later-_

**Mocha: That took awhile.**

**Kadex: -spits blood on the floor- Yeah.**

**Risu: So… tired…**

* * *

_Link: (T) Have you ever considered dating Zelda? *evil grin* (D) I dare you to...*looks around* Fight DARK LINK without any of your weapons OTHER THAN your sword. *looks at confused stares* What? He HAS to be able to protect himself!_

_(Note to author: I'm actually speaking in this one. I'm Sorafi BTW.)_

_~Sorafi Lynn_

* * *

**Kadex: Great. More reviews.**

**Link: I did. Til she went out with Ralph from Oracle of Ages.**

**Zelda: I did not!**

**Link: Yes you did admit it!**

**Risu: I''m not getting invloved.**

**Hadex: Me neither next dare! Mocha!**

**Mocha: So why did you have pink hair in the early 1990s?**

**Link: Dude it waas the style!! You can't argue with pink hair. It looks cool!**

**Mocha: Are you trying to get shot?**

**Link: Excuse me?**

**Mocha: I said are you trying to get shot? Are you daft you little twit?!**

**Link: No, I'm not trying to get shot.**

**Mocha: -pulls out chain gun and blasts Link to pieces- It would appear that you were good sir, because you have been shot and are now dead. Hmm, yes.**

**Sorafi: You're all crazy.**

**Mocha: Trust me, if you saw Kadex and Risu behind the scenes, you wouldn't call me crazy.**

**Risu: And what is that supposed to mean?**

**Mocha: Nothing.**

**Kadex: Falcon Punch! –hits Mocha's face-**

**Mocha: …**

**Sorafi: Mocha?**

**Mocha: Grr. Grr… GRAW!!!!**

**Kadex: Hey, I played that yesterday!**

**Risu: -rolls eyes-**

**Mocha: MOCHA ANGRY! –becomes bulky and ripped- Mocha SMAAASH! –throws chair at Kadex-**

**Kadex: AH!**

**Mocha: -sighs- There, I feel better.**

**Kadex: You know, you should join wrestling…**

_-Aftermath-_

**Mocha: That was great. Thanks for inviting me over.**

**Kadex: No problem.**

**Risu: You were great with the Chain Gun.**

**Mocha: Yes.**

**Kadex: You're talkative aren't you?**

**Mocha: Yes. –grins- See you tomorrow! –gets in Humvee before driving off-**

**Risu: Oh, that reminds me, what'd you get me.**

**Kadex: Oh right. –hands her a black rose-**

**Risu: It's pretty.**

**Kadex: I know. It goes with your looks.**

**Risu: Dinner?**

**Kadex: Sure… why not? –escorts Risu to the car-**

**Ganon: -watches from inside window while crying- They're so beautiful to –gasps- gether… -bawls before blowing nose-**

**Link: Quit blubbering.**

**Ganon: I can't help it…**

**D. Link: Hey guys!**

**Ganon and Link: -turn around-**

**D. Link: We still have the disco lights we stole from Kadex's cache. Let's dance! –turns on Six Flags theme song-**

**T. Link: More flags! More fun! Six flags!**

**All: Wh00t!**

* * *

_A/N: Hello everyone. This is Kadex speaking. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the next will be published soon now that I'm no longer worrying about job-searching._

_Now, the reviews that weren't in this chapter are documented and will be displayed in later chapters, hopefully the next one. All reviews are welcome. And remember:_

_Change is in the air!_


End file.
